Help me out ladies!

**AZ Guy** · 10-08-2010 09:03 PM

So here's the situation. I met this wonderful gal a little over a year ago. We live in different towns (about 200 miles apart) but are somewhat in the same profession so we see each other professionally occassionally.

We started talking more and more, and it turns out we have ton in common and have developed a really good friendship. The problem is I want more.

I asked her to a wedding recently and she accepted, on the premise that it's "only as friends, because I really value our friendship." We had a great time.

More recently, she invited me on a camping trip with some of her family and friends; and again we had a great time. I haven't tried to take things further because of her comments. Yet at the end of the trip one of her best friends said "it's so nice to finally meet you; I've heard so much about you." And then later, she let me know that her dad thought I was a really good guy.

I guess I'm confused. I know I should probably bring things up, but I don't know how to bring it up that I really enjoy her company and like her a lot and that I'd like to try and take things further. I'm guessing/assuming that there are a couple factors: distance as mentioned before, and age - I'm several years older than her.

Any advice?

**stressed** · 10-11-2010 12:39 AM

She's talked about you to her friends and family = she's interested in you.

However, it does seem that she's being careful about starting a long distance relationship (I doubt age is an issue, unless you're over 12 years older than her and she is relatively young, which can make a woman have second thoughts). Long distance relationships are not for everyone. They demand a lot of trust and honesty from both sides. She may have insecurity issues, she may just want to be able to date you properly without having to go on a trip to do so. It takes a lot out of someone to commit to such a relationship (I've been through this and I wouldn't recommend it).

If you two get together and agree to live together at some point that would mean that one of you would have to move. She may not want to be the one who moves, no matter how much she likes you.

You need to learn how she feels about long distance relationships, whether she'd ever consider moving to another city, and other such issues that you can bring up in casual conversation. She seems to like you but at the same time she seems concerned about the practical side of such a relationship.

**WildChild** · 10-11-2010 07:42 AM

I thinked Stressed has summed it up well. It does sound like she is interested in you but skittish about the situation. The stronger you make the friendship, the more likely this will be less of an issue.

**lonestar** · 10-11-2010 11:51 AM

Yeah, stressed has it covered (and I ditto the long distance thing; some girls just need to be held). Definitely talk to her. Don't stress her out, but it definitely needs to be brought up.

**AZ Guy** · 10-14-2010 07:48 PM

Thanks for the comments...

I do need to bring it up eventually; I just am not sure how to do it, as I don't want to stress her out, and I do value our growing friendship...

**ashleygoez** · 10-15-2010 01:31 AM

what do you have to lose? Do you think you would really want to just stay friends with her? Like if she were to meet some guy she likes, could you still be "just friends". From experience, if I tell friends and family about a new boy (opposed to some guy friend i grew up with) that probably means I like them ( if i didnt have interest in them, my friends/ fam would know NOT to make comments like "it's so nice to finally meet you; I've heard so much about you.".. nor would I tell the guy that my dad thinks he is a really great guy).... so I think you actually have a shot with this gal. If I were you (plus a little more courage) I would start the dialog exactly how you started it with us....."
"I guess I'm confused. I know I should probably bring things up, but I don't know how to bring it up that I really enjoy her (YOUR) company and like her (YOU) a lot and that I'd like to try and take things further.".... Long distance relationships are not for everyone."... They definitely take time energy and a certain level of self control... all I can say is... break a leg, hopefully your heart doesn't go down with it.
hope that helps.

**replicalv** · 10-15-2010 02:35 AM

Definitely talk to her.humor,indirect,seriously.....

**stressed** · 10-15-2010 05:38 AM

Write her an email. Like ash said, you have nothing to lose.

**AZ Guy** · 10-15-2010 11:14 PM

Thanks all, I really don't want to bring it up over e-mail, so I'm hoping to have the nerve to bring this up next time I see her.

**ManINeedACoffee** · 10-16-2010 09:29 AM

I actually agree with you, AZ - bringing this up over e-mail strikes me as a bit of a cop-out. It would give off the impression that you don't have the courage to talk about the important things in person. It's a LOT more nerve-wracking to bring it up in person, but you can certainly do so tactfully without putting her in an awkward position.

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