do i need to move on?!

**amyjo** · 10-11-2010 05:31 PM

Ok so i was with this guy for a year. he was like my first legit guy that i was ever with. he loved me...and i mean actually loveddddd me

he made me so happy. we dated but we were never actually a "boyfriend-girlfriend" thing. everyone thought we were but we were just in love but just didnt have the title yet, i guess. i dont know how to explain that.
But about 3 months ago, maybe 4, we got into a fight. we've had fights before and we always just talk things out and its fine in the end. well heres how the scenerio happened:
wednesday, i hung out with him then spent the night at a friends house that night. i didnt have my phone charger so my battery died. Thursday, i was still at my friend's house til late in the day and i didnt talk to my guy. he always texts me first, so i usually dont think to text him first anyway...but i have many times. well friday we were planning on going to the beach with a group of friends. so thursday night i texted my guy and asked him if he was still going to go to the beach the next day... and he wasnt responding. (in the past, he would get upset when we were with my friends because i didnt hang out with him enough)..so i wanted to let him know ahead of time that my friends were coming too so he might not get as much attention from me. my friends were from a different school so they didnt know anyone, which is why they'd get a lot of my attention.
well he wasnt responding so i said, "i just wanted to make you aware that they were coming with me"
and he like flipped out... hes never done that before and he got really mad. he said, "well i wont even go then! you didn't text me all day and when you do, you tell me your bringing some guys with you! no im not going!!" and i was like shocked by how he reacted...i tried to explain why i hadnt texted him and why i was bringing friends that were guys but he wouldt give me the chance to explain. he overreacted really quickly. usually he tries to be understanding, then gets upset, then we talk about it and were both cool again. and he just jumped down my throat and i told him he was acting like "a baby that wasnt getting enough attention".....wellll he didnt like that too much. and started swareing and then just stopped responding. i thought id give him some time to cool down and talk to him in a day or so...but he wasnt texting me so i thought that meant he was still really mad.. so i gave him a dew more days to cool off because i thought he needed space.
Well about a week later, i saw on Facebook that he was now in a relationship! i didnt think much of it because i figured he just put that on there to make me jealous. then about three days later, it said he was in a relationship with a legit girl...who he supposively dated before. So i texted him and said, "so you can get mad because you think i like some guy (that i was bringing to the beach) and i dont, but you can go out and get a girlfriend?!" and he made out like he didnt care and didnt care about me and he just played me for a year. when everyone could tell how he actually loved me. you could just see it. he would do anything for me. it was unbelieveable how he was towards me and how much he cared for me. then he did this. and people thought he was just doing it to make me jealous...but now its been about 3 to 4 months and hes still with her. he doesnt act the same way for her as he did for me tho. is he over me completely??? im still not over him but should i be? do i just move on or try to talk to him and fix things? what do i do?!?!

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-11-2010 05:40 PM

Based on what you've told us, I think it's definitely time to move on. Moving on doesn't necessarily mean get a new boyfriend, but it definitely means let go of the idea and hope that you and he are soulmates, meant to be, etc. If he REALLY loved you, I can't think of any reason he'd blow up over something little, stop talking to you, then suddenly in no time be "in a relationship" with someone else and still be there 3-4 mths later. How disrespectful of your feelings to not even feel he owed you an explanation. I know he may have treated you good and you loved that.......but it doesn't sound like this guy loves you. I think it's definitely time to move on and make room for someone new and special in your life.

**stressed** · 10-11-2010 09:50 PM

You can't fix this, he's made his decision. It might have started out of being stubborn, then maybe he did something stupid, and instead of coming back as the idiot he chose to stay with what he got. 3 months is a lot of time to pretend to be mad at you or not care for you after a year of being together. It's just awful of him not to tell you why.

Move on it is.

**Allie602** · 10-11-2010 10:15 PM

I think you should move on. If it will make you feel any better, he sincerely loved you from what you say. He said the things he did to hurt you the way he was hurting. The fact that you didn't text might have been inconsiderate but his reaction was over the top. He revealed a side of himself that is problematic. He gets so angry that instead of communicating with you he cuts off communication, says and does things to hurt you and is probably using the other girl to try to get over you. I hope she realizes that or he may hurt her.

The reason I say move on even if you are not over him yet is because he is very vindictive and if you get back together he may have it in him to hurt you. So try to heal and move on. You'er fine you didn't do nothing wrong, it's all him.

**amyjo** · 10-19-2010 08:57 PM

ok well actually about four days ago he texted me. i was trying to move on and i was wearing another guys shirt with his name on the back..and he got jealous i think. he told one of my friends something bad about the shirt i was wearing. not bad but the truth.. then he etexted me to tell me he wasnt saying that to be mean but it was jsut the truth...which it is true, so its fine. but we got the chance to talk bout us. and he said he wishes he were with me too. and if he would hve known that i actually loved him then he would be with me right now. and we could be together again. were talking...and im really happy about that. but does us talking now change anything?

**WildChild** · 10-19-2010 10:06 PM

How old are the two of you?

**amyjo** · 10-20-2010 07:06 AM

Seniors in high school

**ren_07** · 10-29-2010 04:45 PM

Wow. Well, it definitely seems if he wasn't committing to you, but will to someone else, it's not about him having issues with a title. It definitely sounds like he wasn't making it official because he wanted to have options and had two things developing at once. According to you also, he was having fights with you. I think he blew this out of proportion as a way to finally end it and be with someone who was ALSO trying to get with him. What a jerk.

Regardless, I think it's definitely not worth your time. He was being dishonest about things if he has been with someone else now for MONTHS and it's working. I think he probably still has feelings for you, but then again, he always did. Even if there was someone else in the picture. I think once he sees you being independent, moving on, and actively dating again, THAT'S when you're gonna get him coming back around to you. And then it will be up to you what you should do. But for now, I think he needs kicked to the curb (or at least to the back of your mind!)