Thread: Is Honesty always best???

Great response WC!

But seriously to the OP. I tell *no one* my number. I don't honestly see where it matters as long as you are STD and faithful to him (and vice versa) when you start sleeping together. I usually just respond "enough" if someone asks, but honestly most people don't ask past a point in my experience.

I think it's something that younger people focus on. I can't imagine, being in my 30s, caring how many people my boyfriend has been with. I doubt either of us even know how many people we've been with.

Well I have experience with this. I had just recently been single and I got really close to a guy friend. I wasn't looking for a relationship and not necessarily for anything physical but we ended up making out and fondling each other. That's all...nothing further. Well, when I met my current boyfriend he said over and over "if you slept with him, I don't think I could go out with you". (they hate each other) So I liked him so much when he asked if I ever did anything with him, all I said was I kissed him and nothing more (for fear of what may happen)....welllll.....last weekend we were having a heart to heart and he said that if I ever want to tell him anthing that right now would be the time, that it is a safe zone. I can tell him anything and he will forgive. Now, we have a lot of trust in each other, but he knew this guy and I have a flirt relationship before he came along. Well, I spit it out, i was crying and I said he had fondled my upper body (not lower) and I fondled his member. He was very understanding of this, but now he makes comments like "why did you lie to me about it in the first place" and I explained why. I think he's over it, but why keep cracking jokes about it. Ya ya, i fessed up because I love him enough to tell him the whole truth. Otherwise, I woulda just kept it a secret forever, but I didn't want to feel the guilt anymore and that is what you do when you love someone. When he first asked me that I didnt "love" him yet, so I didn't feel qutie as guitly about it. I am glad he asked me, because I feel better but still.... i'd say be honest. Don't tell if you don't want, but if you do...be honest.

If he never asked you in the first place and accepted you for who you are right this moment, rather than who you've been intimate with....you'd have nothing to feel guilty about. Not that you have anything to feel guilty about anyway.
He should be the one feeling bad by judging you and then trapping you into talking about something that you are both obviously uncomfortable with.

The guilt was only of lieing. NOthing to do with who i had been with.

He should never have put the ultimatum out there where you felt like you had to lie in the first place.

I know. I agree with that. I felt more guilty for not telling him sooner is all. I dont blame myself for lieing because most people would, but you're definitely right. When I said that to him though he said he liked me too much he wouldnt have done it. He just thought if we did it would get it out of me...which hello...obviously that didnt work lol

if he* did it.