Will women perceive me as inadequate if I am 30 years old and not sexually experience

**liminal** · 10-23-2010 12:17 AM

It seems like everybody tells me no.

Why do I feel like that then?

I have never had a girlfriend and I am afraid girls will just think of that as weird.

I know that a girl who I went out on a date with recently on a dating site doesn't think I am weird for that. I am just projecting my insecurities I guess.

I remember my mom used to tell me that she was okay with women who slept with underage men because they "made a man out of them" so maybe that is why. Bad upbringing on the topic of sex.

That and I sometimes hear how some women think the man in a relationship should be older because he will (among other things?) be more experienced in bed. Have you heard that before?

I think I even remember coming across a poll where it said a lot of woman wouldn't want to have sex with a virgin. I don't know where that poll is or if it is even accurate but it bothers me probably more than it should.

**liminal** · 10-23-2010 12:45 AM

experienced...it looks like I have some typos... I am having difficultly seeing stuff on the screen because of monitor issues.

**WildChild** · 10-23-2010 08:05 AM

It depends on the woman. Yes, it does sound like you are projecting your insecurities and people will pick up on that.

**Little_Miss_Me** · 10-25-2010 09:21 AM

I'll be fairly honest and direct...

The best people I've been with in bed were usually less experienced men that loved porn. To explain a bit more, the less experienced a man is in bed, the more willing he is willing to learn everything about what his partner yearns for. He seems to go above and beyond the normal guy just doing his routine screw.

As for the porn part, there seems to be a pretty direct line of men that love porn and men that don't. The men that do, often, are a bit more wild and open, which is great to have once you've been sleeping with someone for more than a few months.

So, all in all, it's up to you. Trying your hardest and experimenting is more important than the amount of notches you've got in your belt.

**lizzardb63** · 10-25-2010 09:58 AM

The person you're with should be understanding. It doesn't matter how many partners you've been with, its about the person you are. She will like you for you and not for your "experience", because you will make your own experiences.

**stressed** · 10-25-2010 04:44 PM

Experienced or not, as long as you are willing to learn and eager to please then nobody can ever complain. You can never do something bad or wrong as long as you want to learn what your partner likes. The most common reason why a woman would find this unusual would be as to why haven't you been at least emotionally connected with someone, more than the sex part.

I don't agree with the comment about men who watch porn are better than those who don't. There's the possibility that these men watch so much porn that they confuse a real woman and real sex from porn-sex, or that they masturbate so much that they can't perform with a woman. Also, being open as to the kind of porn someone watches doesn't immediately make this man open in real sex.

**Little_Miss_Me** · 10-26-2010 09:15 AM

I don't agree with the comment about men who watch porn are better than those who don't. There's the possibility that these men watch so much porn that they confuse a real woman and real sex from porn-sex, or that they masturbate so much that they can't perform with a woman. Also, being open as to the kind of porn someone watches doesn't immediately make this man open in real sex.

Just from my experience. I've been with three guys that weren't real porn watchers and compared to the guys that are -- just totally different. One of the guys that wasn't into porn I was with for over two years, and it ended as a relationship that was 1 maybe 2 times a month. The guys I was with that liked porn were much more open minded and eager to learn. Just my personal experience. Sounds like you ended up with someone that was a porn addict, not quite the same. I've never heard of someone that preferred jerking off to porn than having sex with a woman... O_o

**stressed** · 10-26-2010 01:30 PM

Originally Posted by Little_Miss_Me

Just from my experience. I've been with three guys that weren't real porn watchers and compared to the guys that are -- just totally different. One of the guys that wasn't into porn I was with for over two years, and it ended as a relationship that was 1 maybe 2 times a month. The guys I was with that liked porn were much more open minded and eager to learn. Just my personal experience. Sounds like you ended up with someone that was a porn addict, not quite the same. I've never heard of someone that preferred jerking off to porn than having sex with a woman... O_o

Well I speak by experience as well. I've been with guys who watched porn once in a while, didn't watch porn at all and watched porn daily. The best was the one who didn't watch at all but had a lot of experience with women = was eager to learn first hand. The one who watched the most was the less eager to learn in real-life surroundings.

Porn-sex and real-sex are just two different things. I'm sorry.

**sungoddesschelsy** · 10-26-2010 02:19 PM

Of course it depends on every woman's opinion... but if she really likes who you are as a person it won't matter if you have no experience. Maybe there is a draw back or two, but I'd think most women can find more positive in your situation than you can see.