Thread: Not quite sure =S

I'm 21, I got out of a 3yr long relationship a 1 1/2 years ago... which took quite a toll on me. Anyway I now feel a little more comfortable being able to talk to people, however, I feel that I have codependency issues. More or less I feel that I kinda need that emotional connection that i used to have with the other person. Putting all that aside for a moment, I just started talking to someone in my neighborhood, It's been a few weeks and come to find out she will be leaving the state come soon in Dec. She is actually going to visit family in GA for a few weeks in Nov for Thanksgiving and all, but the point of the story is, when I initially started talking to her I went in with no expectations, however i became far too attached, far too quickly. I feel that when she leaves I will become overwhelmed again with that since of abandonment. Basically what I'm asking is, should I keep seeing her, should i tell her how I feel, at least about her leaving before she does, or should I just keep it to myself and count my losses and move on. But going back to what I said earlier, it is really hard for me to move on from people, my last relationship was my first, and I have this feeling that I will feel this way, as in attached really quickly, for other people in the future. I really don't know how to treat my current situation. Any advice would be highly appreciated. Sorry for the long monologue.

Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster

There are times as young adults we NEED to plan for our future.....and that's just it, we can plan FOR the future, but we can't plan the future, right? So you have a brief relationship and then she moves.......she could be the love of your life....or a lifelong friend. Don't pass up on something you'll always regret.

With that said, based on what you've stated, I do not believe you're ready for another relationship. Casual dating is the best thing for you at this point in my opinion. Spending time with just you is not a bad thing. Now you're finally healing, getting back to yourself, so nows the time to learn to love yourself without having to have someone else to justify your existence and your happens. The ultimate "moving on" doesn't mean finding a new lover..... it means being happy and content with who YOU are without them. When you get to that point, you're ready for a new relationship.

I see your point, however I thought I had moved on... I very well could just think that i have, and havent, by what you said it would seem that way if i just wanted another relationship to supplement my lack of life so to speak, but I dont "think" I am. But if that is the case then I am far from moved on because I dont want to feel like this anymore... Like I feel alone but I only say that because I cant think of a better word to describe my current viewpoint of the situation. I really dont know hence why I am on this forum, but thank you all for all the advice. I think I will try to seize the situation see what happens, but yes I will take into consideration of not being ready for a full on relationship. But she is most like moving for good for the other person that replied