Ladies, how do you prefer to be approached by a man?

**kevin32** · 11-15-2010 09:52 AM

I'm trying to get better at meeting women and would like some tips for how to approach them that will make them at least more open and receptive to me, even if nothing becomes of it.

Also, what are some examples of being approached that turns you OFF, so I make sure not to do that. Thanks.

**ItsASecret** · 11-15-2010 10:09 AM

I was approached once asking straight up if they could have my number. I was polite and said no you may not. Do not do that.

I have seen women at school be approached, they are wearing highly revealing clothing so they are getting the attention they were initially searching for, but they were approached by a guy and he said "hey babe you have a nice rack can I take you out for a drink?". She said absolutely not. Do not do that. When it comes to a good looking lady there is a fine line between creep and nice guy. If she is good looking she knows it and knows guys will try their best to comment on that hot body and will get tired of hearing the same routine "hey baby" chit chat. So it is best to avoid words like you are hot, you are smokin', you are a babe, nice rack (obviously lol) and so on.

I have seen sweet guys honestly ask a girl for a cup of coffee at school after talking about some classes they both took. They politely decline after mentioning they have boyfriends. Major major concern there because you do not know if a woman is in a relationship before asking questions so tread carefully.

The best I have seen thus far was at Chapters bookstore. I was in the cooking isle looking around and this other woman, maybe in her early 30's was there too. A guy about her age came down the isle and started looking opening books and all that and while looking at the book kinda mumbled to himself that he just cannot find a good book. He did not look at the woman starring or ogling, at all, no contact, no hey there baby you are fine creeper look...he then looked up and asked that other woman if she recommends anything. She said yes and went on to show a book and he said it looks good but wanted something more of the grilling type and mentioned a Chefs name. She laughed and said I like him too. They giggled some more about different books and eventually he asked if he could buy her a coffee and she said yes. I stayed in the isle for the whole thing because I thought it was cute, and I heard it all. Simple, not creepy, relating interests and done he got a sit down with a totally random woman. I will never forget that.

**kevin32** · 11-15-2010 10:09 PM

Thanks Secret. Good story about the bookstore!

**ashleygoez** · 11-17-2010 12:39 AM

I think it being funny, casual and not aggressive are the biggest turn-ons. Just spark up causal conversation, then if she is interested, she will most likely respond.

**Pau** · 12-05-2010 05:37 PM

I think it's important that you should be yourself, Don't show that you're trying so hard because this may very obvious.

I usually respond to guys who just simply spark conversations to me like the things I see around. In that way you can interact together.

**cocoa** · 12-12-2010 02:33 PM

Originally Posted by Pau

I think it's important that you should be yourself, Don't show that you're trying so hard because this may very obvious.

I usually respond to guys who just simply spark conversations to me like the things I see around. In that way you can interact together.

This^^^. And don't be afraid to approach a woman . . . just do it wisely and nicely.

**ren_07** · 12-13-2010 05:05 PM

I think most girls do prefer the whole casual conversation thing. Think of any romantic movie where the guy just approaches the girl he's had his eye on and is just funny and nice and casually talking to her. It can also be important to not look so eager. Or clingy. Asking straight up for a number or something more forward may be a bit of a pressure trip and a turn off if only because some people like moving slower so it's best to play it safe. I think a lot of girls date the wrong guys because they kind of like having to chase someone they can't quite pin down. So be a bit mysterious, talk to her casually, and leave it at that for a little so it builds and you leave her wondering what he thinks. That also gives you more time to read in on the vibes she's giving off in response to your approaches.

**Little_Miss_Me** · 12-17-2010 07:10 PM

I don't care when, where, how, why -- just whatever you do, be polite. I get approached fairly often, and I get shocked how rude and obnoxious some men are. However, men that are 1.) Polite and 2.) Direct will get my attention and keep it.

For example, "You look really beautiful today, would you like to go out for coffee/dinner anytime?" Polite guys tend to say something like, "You're really pretty." I'll smile, say thank you, and go about my day. They don't ask me on a date, so they don't get one, and the likely hood of me ever seeing him again is slim.

I don't care for small talk, so the casual conversation thing doesn't really strike a cord with me.