Teenage Dating--who pays?

**Lunar Keiki** · 11-17-2010 06:22 PM

I just had lunch with my good friend and we were discussing teenagers and dating. She has a son and he has started dating and whenever they go to the movies, he pays for everything (he does not work, so in essence his parents are footing the bill). I have a daughter and I said that I think they should go dutch at this age and until they have a job, a boy should not be expected to pay. She said all her friends who have boys said they also think the boy should pay (these are teenagers--too young to work!). What do you all think?

**caterpillar79** · 11-17-2010 08:34 PM

For me, it is a mix of a lot of "it depends". I could not see it as objectively as I should - I have to admit, I'm culturally tainted on this aspect. I was brought up in a culture where the boy has to shoulder the bill. He could save his allowance, or do some chores from people who would pay them , you know (i.e. mowing a neighbor's yard, etc,).

But part of me says it's not fair. They are still kids, unable to work, hence, it is but reasonable for them to either go dutch or take turns, whichever works for them. By so doing, they learn how to be responsible with their "finances" early on.

**Lunar Keiki** · 11-17-2010 10:48 PM

It's funny, but coming from the perspective of the girl's mom, I say dutch and she needs to learn to be independent and not rely on a guy to pay her way (but it would be great if the guy offered or insisted once in a while--kwim?). But thinking about when my son is ready to date, I would be like "No, you are the boy, you should be paying." It isn't so much a double standard I think as it is what kind of person do I want my kids to grow up to be and I think you have different expectations for your sons and your daughters--at least I do!

**Seeker_Advice** · 11-18-2010 04:15 AM

Boys pay...

friends go dutch Dates don't.

A desire to date may spark an interest in work.
Shows the girl that he is interested in her.
Shows respect/honr/decency.
Is an investment on the boys part.
Shows/tells the girl that she is special...and she is.
Is the right thing to do. (my opinion).
Chivalry, manners and etiquette need to be taught to our young people.
Good enough for mom & dad, grama & grampa...should be good enough for me.

I could go on and on .....

Why did we get away from this, as a society, in the first place? Look where it has gotten us.....

Admit it men...females are special, I know mine is, and should be treated as such.....what's wrong with teaching the current/next generation of young men to feel the same way?