HOW BIG IS TOO BIG? (carat size, NOT unit size)

**Seeker_Advice** · 11-27-2010 09:20 AM

When it comes to an engagement stone ladies what do you think the ideal stone size is?

I won't go any smaller than one carat and have the resources to go much larger.

I don't want to overwhelm her, just show her how much I really love her with a symbol of my love.

It really is that, a symbol of my love, and nothing more. As the proof lies in the efforts I make every day to contribute to, enhance and improve her life and the lives of our children.

Please give it some thought before answering. Thank you.

**ItsASecret** · 11-27-2010 09:38 AM

Honestly I cannot tell the difference between diamond size when it comes to carats. If a ring is a diamond solitare with a nice carat number and you have a 3 stone ring right next to it with the same total amount of carats I would choose the 3 stone ring even if the other appears to have a larger diamond because all the carats are packed into one single diamond. Unless she knows her diamonds you are going to be the only one that knows how much it cost, but going all out with an awkwardly large diamond can be just a bit too much even if you can afford it. To her it may just be a ring, one diamond, 3 diamonds, or 15 diamonds she is still going to wear it with the sigh of relief that you love her. Carat count does not signify love.

**sourpuss** · 11-27-2010 09:51 AM

I would say it depends on the woman. And by that I mean, that if she cares....RUN! I would prefer to get something thoughtful that isn't diamond. I'm not a jewelry person and to top it off, I'm quite sensitive to the global politics around diamond....and I'm thrifty....so a diamond for me is 3 strikes. So my biased opinion would be to get something small, her birthstone or something like that.

**WildChild** · 11-27-2010 10:36 AM

Go for over all beauty of the stone and setting. Do you know what cut she prefers? Do she prefer a clear diamond or a colored one? If clear, quality and cut are what count.

There really is a difference. I worked for a jeweler for a brief span, part of my training was to sit and look at a set of 6 or 7 seemingly identical diamonds. They were good sized and all look lovely to my untrained eye. I had to sit and look at them until I could see the difference. Like a hidden picture, it jumped out all at once, the diamond at one end was absolutely colorless, perfectly clear and the one on the other end was yellow, all the diamonds in between were of varying discoloration. It was an eye opening experience. I can no longer see that variation just looking at a single diamond but there are people who can.

For an active woman a large stone can be cumbersome. Many jewelers don't use really adequate settings either, so stones can be knocked out too easily. Go to a really reputable jeweler, which is not necessarily the biggest advertiser and look for quality.

**jns** · 11-27-2010 10:47 AM

Originally Posted by Seeker_Advice

When it comes to an engagement stone ladies what do you think the ideal stone size is?

I won't go any smaller than one carat and have the resources to go much larger.

I don't want to overwhelm her, just show her how much I really love her with a symbol of my love.

It really is that, a symbol of my love, and nothing more. As the proof lies in the efforts I make every day to contribute to, enhance and improve her life and the lives of our children.

Please give it some thought before answering. Thank you.

The other answers are good. As for getting a ring, many factors go into the cost of the diamonds. With all else equal, three smaller stones adding up to a given carat size should cost less than a single solitaire. You can go online to a site that has blue in it's name along with the long river in Africa that goes through Egypt and get some information about diamond quality as well as comparative cost. I got a ring from there lately and thought it was reasonable. Sound out your SO discretely about what she would think is appropriate and ring styles.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 11-27-2010 11:09 AM

I think diamonds are beautiful......and an engagement ring is a symbol that a woman would hope to wear for the rest of her life. Or at least I would. I want something beautiful and timeless, very classic....so that someday I can pass it along to my children, and so on and so on.

I believe my first engagement ring was half a carat and I loved it....though the band was so thin it would have never lasted.

Though I think many of the current styles are beautiful.....I prefer the classic styles like solitaires (round cut or princess cut). I think 1 carat is PLENTY...big enough to sparkle and look beautiful but small enough that it won't get hung on everything and get in the way. To me, a 1 carat solitaire on a white gold band with something special engraved on the inside would be so sentimental and perfect.

Now...with that said...you know your lady best.

**BasketCase** · 11-27-2010 11:31 AM

My whole wedding set is one carat. I think it's the thouhgt that counts.

**Seeker_Advice** · 11-27-2010 12:49 PM

Keep 'em coming..

I failed/chose not to mention that I have diamond certifications from the US and Europe (I didn't want my knowledge to taint your input) and will be buying her stone from the diamond district in NY.

As for all of your concerns, yes I will do my best to NOT buy a so called blood diamond, though 80% of the gems (not just diamonds) mined in the world are from countries where human rights violations are rampant and no where near what you and I expect them to be.

ItsASecret you’re right, carat size and cost do not signify love and frankly has nothing
to do with it.

Sourpuss “global politics” perhaps, but uneducated as well (about the rest of the gem
industry). Even turquoise has it’s detractors because the “white man” has
taken it from the native Americans.

WildChild E. F or G on the color VS1 or VVS2 for clarity. I could go better but
this a piece of jewelry that I want her to wear and wear proudly. Platinum
for the band and a six prong, maybe seven prong platinum basket.

BD She likes the pear cut, I’m more of a traditionalist and prefer solitaire. It’s
her ring and her finger, so pear it will be.

BasketCase I agree that it’s the thought that counts, that’s why I’m doing so much
thinking about it!

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not out to “buy” her love…it can’t be bought! I’m not out to “win” her love…it can’t be won! Every day, I try to earn her love by doing the things that matter most….showing her that I love her by treating her with respect, honor and decency. She knows that I love her and I know that she loves me and when our time on this earth nears the end, that is really all that matters.

Thanks to all of you for your input!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-27-2010 02:42 PM

Appropriate thread

My ex gave me his Mother's ring, three solitare diamonds set in gold, good clarity, that marriage didn't last

My "fiance" haha, first time using that word... we went and viewed styles over the last few months, he wanted white gold, that grew on me and actually I now prefer it. I think we all like bling, all like sparkles to some degree, we chose 4 diamonds in a square, with 4 smaller diamonds going down each side from the top and the wedding ring matches, with diamonds going all around, it's elegant, pretty, good clarity, and I can pass that one down as well....

To be honest? I never liked the ring my ex designed... Yes, it had 3 large diamonds, but I felt like, it wasn't personal, wasn't bought with me in mind, just re-designed in his taste...

Whereas, this ring we both chose and it represends both of us....

I am not sure if me ex wants the ring back, initially he did, as it was his Mothers, but I've chosen to tell him if he does, as she passed away along time ago, that I will give him one diamond, and one to his brother and I will keep one and re-design it... The reason being, is if he gives it to someone else and she leaves him, he will never see it again, also IDK, I think his Mother would have preferred that, one to each of her sons and the woman he chose to marry and give it to... Call me weird, but that is how I saw it.../see it..

All I can say Seeker, is if it is what she likes and a bit of what you like, then it's perfect as it will represent both of you, in love as she wears it

CW

**rcoreyus** · 11-29-2010 11:16 AM

I've never like the idea of diamond engagement rings. Diamonds are to directly translated into cash value - to me it says "look how much he paid for me". As an expression of cash value, nothing is ever enough - if you have a 1ct gem, you will see someone with a 2 ct gem. Diamonds are also very expensive (that is sort of the point), so the temptation is to leave the new couple already in debt.

DeBeers controls most of the diamonds in the world - and manipulates the prices to keep them high. FWIW, it is possible to make synthetic diamonds (same material, perfect crystals) that are very large and not very expensive - but DeBeers insists that they be tinted yellow to make them too ugly for use as gems. Eventually the monopoly will be broken and diamond prices will collapse.

Get a nice ring that is beautiful and unique (there are man custom jewelry shops) that will cost a small fraction of a diamond, and will not look like a price tag .