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Thread: Please help me.

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Please help me.

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    I've been "going out" with this guy over the internet for almost a year (maybe 7 months or so) and there are some things that really bother me.
    So, when we first started going out he was really sweet and whatever, until he started wanting nude pictures. For a while he abused me saying things like "You never made me happy" and threatening to commit suicide if I didn't send them. This went on for a while until I couldn't take it anymore and changed my phone number after hanging up on him (he wouldn't stop calling).
    Later that same day I got on somewhere that he could contact me (seeing as how he could no longer reach me on my phone) and he kept promising me these wonderful things like he would make himself better etc. etc.
    Now it is a few months later and nothing has been done.
    We fight almost constantly and he pressures me to do things he knows I don't want to do. I've tried breaking up with him countless times, whether it's because I felt trapped or because I was sick of him crying because of what I do, but it never works.
    He always starts crying when I try to leave and I can't find it in myself to leave him.
    I really want the best for this guy and somewhere really deep I do care about him, but this relationship is terrible. Not only am I afraid that he'll hate me when we meet (yes- we haven't met yet), but I'm afraid he'll try to get me to do things sexually that I'm not ready to do.
    It's hard for me to tell him that I love him. Often I become irritated with him and I don't have a reason.
    The thing is that I have no self esteem and it's really hard for me to let people go. For instance, if it did work and he let me break up with him I don't know how long I could last without calling him back and begging him to be with me.
    Right now he's asking me why I don't care about him and why I don't say that I love him. I feel like crying.
    There's something wrong here and I don't know what to do anymore. Please, any advice would be great. This is really hurting me. Please help me, gosh knows I need it.
    ~Molly

  2. #2
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    He also never trusts me to talk to other guys. He doesn't let me have my space and be alone every once in a while. Right now he says he wants to die.

  3. #3
    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    Have you ever actually met?
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

  4. #4
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    you said you havent met so what do u mean by "leaving him"? why not just drop communication and not talk to him anymore. there is a block button for a reason. it sounds like hes a little on the crazy side so maybe it would be a good idea to get outta that. if you feel the urge to call him then stop yourself. obviously you dont want contact with him if u changed ur number then why are you still talking to him. i would suggest blocking and deleting him from your life.

  5. #5
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Oh Molly, you're so sweet but listen carefully..

    You are not going out with anyone, you talked to someone on-line and gave out your phone number, probably through lonliness...

    This "kid" may actually be a 50 year old man, yes don't be suprised, he has you eating out of his hands, for over 7 months doing things that only perverts do, and then to keep you, pretending to commit suicide, he can put up what ever photo he wants but you don't know it's really him.. If you have web camed him fair enough you've seen him for real, but it's just the same, he's pulling you along to make sure he gets what he wants over the internet, I doubt he has any intentions of ever meeting you, let alone ever letting you go, it's creepy...

    Please next time he contacts you, I want you to say, I may be nieve but you actually frighten me and so if you ever contact me again, I'm giving your IP address to the Police, they can check your computer and see just what you are really up to in the internet world, with me and with all the other women as I know I am not the only one and even if I was, your stalking, so don't ever contact me again...

    He will move onto someone else, you do not want this type of person in your life, anything could happen to you, please think about this and tell someone, you've started by telling us.

    CW
    Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 11-28-2010 at 02:35 AM. Reason: need spell check:)
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

  6. #6
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    The world is full of pedophiles and perverts and the Internet is their super highway!

    This guy is a bum and a loser!

    Do exactly as CW advises in her post above....be smart, use your brain, protect yourself

  7. #7
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    My friend was in the same position not to long ago. She met the guy online, he treatened to kill himself if she didn't do this, and all that. She was emotionally attached to him and every second of her day was on the internet or phone with this guy, who claimed to be "21". Me and a few friends knew we had to put a stop to it before it got even more out of control. We convinced her after 3 months that the guy wasn't worth it. She finally relized we were all right and changed her phone number and stopped online chatting. Come to find out, this guy was a sex offender. Thank god we made her cut it off because she was seriously thinking about giving him her address and everything. Just be very careful who you chat with cause it could be dangerous.

  8. #8
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    He's manipulating you to get what he wants. Cut off the communication ASAP. And if you want to date someone....date someone you can physically see, touch and know they are at least who they say they are. You think you know this guy....I understand that....but you don't. Meeting this guy could be VERY dangerous for you....and even for your family. Let this go so that you can grow, learn about yourself, gain some self confidence and meet a man in real life that you can actually date and get to know.

    "Be what you're looking for."

    "The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."



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