Thread: Kissed by bestfriend, now very confused!! Please Help!

I have a best friend. He's part of my life on so many levels. I loved him to death, like a brother, before we kissed.
We sleep in the same bed when me and my brother stay with him, we party, we hangout, we text and talk all the time,we laugh, we skip school, we have a million inside jokes, we mess with
eachother on a daily basis, we push shove and hug eachother, we laugh, we hangout, we work together, I'll go to his house with mutual bestfriend of ours or Robert and stay until 2 am or later, we'll go out to his house late, even when i dont get off work until 11(he lives 30 mins away), we are constantly together or making plans, last min plans are always happening, we do everything together.

He tells me everything and I tell him everything. He tells me about ever girl he has ever dated, messed with, text, liked. He has asked me to ride to a party with him for a little while during a game, but then decided to go after the gama and pick up a girl who he was talkn to, but I went with them, and he took me to my car AFTER he dropped her off, even though she asked us several times when we were talking me to my car before he took he home. We planned to go to a football game and he was bringing a date and when we got there he got mad at me be I "abandoned" him to go hang out with a guy I liked whom I liked at that time. We tell eachother everything about everything about everything. There is not a subject we havent talked about. He knows more about me than my girl bestfriends. He is a part of my life, in a way that no other guy is. It was the perfect fun friendship that we had, no strings attached just best friends. I had never thought about us dating, or kissing, or anything. I knew we would never date bc Im not his type, and I know what kind of girls he likes, be we talk about them all the time.
All my friends think we should date bc they say we're so perfect together and are always together. People that aren't real close think we are dating, and don't understand when I tell them that we are best friends. They think "friends with benefits". Up until now we had never held hands, kissed, messed around, sex, nothing. Just spent all the time together and had more fun together than imaginable!
We have been made at eachother twice. Once bc he thought I was speading rumors about sometihng he had told me, when it turned out to be his girlfriend at the time. When he found out it wasnt me he gave me a hug and said sorry. We never fought, except once. And it was bc we both took something wrong that the other one had said and I skipped my class after lunch and went into the gym, where he was. I was almost crying when I finally got his attention and he came over to where I was. I was like just tell me why your mad at me bc I really can't handle anymore people mad at me and now you are so just tell me why. And he was like calm down I'm just kidding I'm not mad at you about anything. I said well you text me and said you were earlier when I asked if you were. He grabbed my face with both hands looked in my eyes and said I'm not mad I promise. And we hugged, smiled, and went to class.
This was the perfect friendship that we had before the kiss.

One night he had asked me to help him with homework and that he'd get me from my house when he got off work, and his momma was gonna help me fill out some paperwork for my new job. When he was getting me, my brother decided he was going. We had a blast talking and singing on the way to his house. It was always me and him talkn and my brother just chilling in the back seat adding a word occasionally. So after hours of goofing off, talkn outside, guitar hero, and no homework or paperwork done we decided to go to bed. We go upstairs put a movie on and i finished some homework and then we all get in bed. He always sleeps in the middle and him and my brother were messing with me and told me to cuddle. I was like naw naw and then he was like come on, so I did and he put his arm around my waist. We started whispering jokes about m brother and laughing and giggling. He told me to play with his hair, so i did, after he finally asked a few times. It was pitch black and we were lying facing eachother. Then he started rubbing my back with his thumb, very softly and gently, and only everyonce jn a while. It was startling at first bc I thought he was asleep. Then we both started shifting very softly. I could feel his breath. Then suddenly our lips met and we kissed. It was so gentle, sweet, romantic. We kissed twice, not two pecks, two full wonderful long kisses. Then he got up to get a blanket and got back in bed. We fell asleep under the same blanket, me playing with his hair laying on his arm, his arm around me rubbing my arm, holding hands across his stomach.
The next few days were horrible. We didn't talk or anything. It's still terrible a week later. It's almost like were just acquaintances. Not best friends. We talk sorta kinda have awkward laughs. But its no where near the same as before. We dont touch, mess with eachother, laugh as much, have that intimiate closeness of best friends we did before. He stayed at my house, and slept in my brothers room!
He told our mutual best friend that he didn't know why it happened and that it would never happen again. And that it was me insinuating everything. Which is a lie! And that he felt bad because I'm his best friends sister. He apologized to my brother and told him it wouldn't happen again.
My friends say he has feelings for me but doesn't understand them yet.
I don't think he does. Bc of how he has been acting. At the same time I'm so confused and keep asking myself, if he doesn't have feelings for me why else would he hold my hand and kiss me and fall asleep with his arm around me rubbin my shoulder? Why would he kiss me first? He never said he didn't have feelings for me, just that he didn't know why it happened and that it'll never happen again.
On top of this he went from loving being single to trying to date a girl he doesn't even know. Two days after.
I'm afraid I'm possibly developing feelings towards him. But anyways please comment and give me your advice because I'm so lost and confused!
And I miss him so much. Nothing has been the same and its slowly killing me.
Thanks!!!