I'm not a dumb girl.. i just need help!

**k8mt** · 12-01-2010 10:13 AM

Okay so here is the sitch. I joined an online dating site because well.. i'm single and sick of it and there is a lack of prospects in the tiny town i live in. Anyways, i started talking to this guy.. by the looks of him, the fact that he's a red sox fan and the fact that he is into rodeo basically screamed JERK to me. But i kept talking to him and found he was quite interesting. He's not in school, went to college but didn't like it, he was working construction but of course due to the recession he got laid off and he's working at a liquor store and he has no car. Now, none of these things actually bother me. But it bothers him a lot. So then i figured him to be fairly easy to find on facebook.. he has a sort of uncommon name and he's from a smaller ish town.. so i found him. But i can't see his pictures or his wall which is fine. I decided to google his name.. just to see if anything criminal comes up. Turns out he turned himself in last May due to a fight he got into with a female and a knife was involved. Okay that's creepy. I was freaked at this point. I texted him and asked if he had ever been in any trouble ever ( a typical get to know you question) this guy would have just avoided that and said oh dui once and a fight once but he proceeds to tell me that his buddy got into a fight and someone reported that a knife was there but there really wasn't and his buddy was in trouble for someone else so he stepped in and took the blame. .. all well and good right? .. still creepy a little bit.
He's really into family, loves his family, yet when i told him that i didn't think i ever wanted kids (it's something that should be brought up early as to not let anyone down) he was like oh that's fine i'd be happy with or with out them. ..
Maybe i'm reading too far into this guy. He seems super nice, he's funny, he's crazy good looking and he really seems to like me and what to meet up and hang out. Is he crazy? I keep asking myself like why is this guy single? he's obviously a catch! He told me he's been cheated on a lot.. which i can see.. he's almost too nice. I like was trying to get him to argue with me last night talking politics and he just wouldn't.. and it was freaking politics!!!
i mean.. honestly. He calls me sweetie and i've been talking to the guy for like 2 days.. Last night i was like okay gotta go to bed text me tomorrow.. and he said text me when you wake up and i said well i get up at 5 so i won't be doing that to you.. and so what happens this morning? i wake up and at 5 oclock he texts me good morning. He had set an alarm so he could get up and text me..
I told him that he would have to meet my cousin and brother because they are like the judge and jury and he was like can't wait sweetie i can't wait to meet all your friends know everything about you

Is this guy coming on super strong? Trying to hard? Just crazy? or just Nice?? ..

**lizzardb63** · 12-01-2010 10:23 AM

Follow your gut and your first instinct. If he seems shading deep down....then trust your gut.

**k8mt** · 12-01-2010 10:29 AM

I don't know if i'd call him shady really.. he seems really sweet but i'm always going to be really skeptical of any guy who is nice and tries to actually treat a girl well because.. i mean lets face it i've dated some real uncaring jerks in the past.. i just don't know how to read a nice guy for his genuine niceness..

**pretzel** · 12-01-2010 11:30 AM

The fact that you have your radar up is a good thing.

Keeping it up and going slow will give you a much better feel for him.

**k8mt** · 12-01-2010 11:35 AM

Does it sound like perhaps i'm reading too far into his niceness though? i mean he is really super sweet.. he said to me today that he wants me for his birthday.. i asked him favorite birthday present ever and he said i just want u for my birthday..
cheesy? sweet? ... aarrhhgghh

**pretzel** · 12-01-2010 11:51 AM

Originally Posted by k8mt

Does it sound like perhaps i'm reading too far into his niceness though? i mean he is really super sweet.. he said to me today that he wants me for his birthday.. i asked him favorite birthday present ever and he said i just want u for my birthday..
cheesy? sweet? ... aarrhhgghh

Not knowing the context by which he said these things, I'd be a little wary. Could very well have been in jest, but then again, may not have been.

For someone you've met a short time ago, that seems a bit aggressive.

**k8mt** · 12-01-2010 12:17 PM

I know i didn't know if i should label that as aggressive or cute?.. or if he's moving too fast. i did text him today that like we need to really get to know each other and not rush into anything. and he said i totally know what you mean.. and i said we should be friends first.. like get a solid friendship going and he agreed with that too..
so maybe if i just keep flat out saying i need friendship first when he starts to get too aggressive i'll see the true colors?
I just hate when people think they know me and want me and are into me when really they've only scratched the surface.. i try to answer and ask as many questions as possible but maybe i'm not asking the right ones? what would you ask someone with out flat out saying.. Look dude are you needy and pushy or are you just nice?

**pretzel** · 12-01-2010 12:33 PM

Originally Posted by k8mt

I know i didn't know if i should label that as aggressive or cute?.. or if he's moving too fast. i did text him today that like we need to really get to know each other and not rush into anything. and he said i totally know what you mean.. and i said we should be friends first.. like get a solid friendship going and he agreed with that too..
so maybe if i just keep flat out saying i need friendship first when he starts to get too aggressive i'll see the true colors?
I just hate when people think they know me and want me and are into me when really they've only scratched the surface.. i try to answer and ask as many questions as possible but maybe i'm not asking the right ones? what would you ask someone with out flat out saying.. Look dude are you needy and pushy or are you just nice?

Those questions I'm afraid I don't think I'll be of much help. I'm far too old and removed from the dating scene to have any type of significant responses.

I will say that if he's open and honest you'll know relatively quickly just how sincere he is.

**JustHormonious** · 12-01-2010 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by k8mt

. I decided to google his name.. just to see if anything criminal comes up. Turns out he turned himself in last May due to a fight he got into with a female and a knife was involved. Okay that's creepy. I was freaked at this point. I texted him and asked if he had ever been in any trouble ever ( a typical get to know you question) this guy would have just avoided that and said oh dui once and a fight once but he proceeds to tell me that his buddy got into a fight and someone reported that a knife was there but there really wasn't and his buddy was in trouble for someone else so he stepped in and took the blame. .. all well and good right? .. still creepy a little bit.
..

Hi k8mt,

If what you said is correct, "he turned himself in"....He had an active warrant for his arrest. I don't know many people that would step in on a buddy's behalf and allow themselves to be charged with an assault or domestic battery. What type of friends does he have? Steer clear of this young man.

**k8mt** · 12-01-2010 01:26 PM

well he said that no charges were filed in the end and after googling and researching i can't find anything else and i'm sure if it was a big deal it would show up on somewhere right?? .. maybe.. it i'm terribly naive.
assault charges in this state usually show up on the same site that registered sex offenders do..