The boyfriend doesn't like to French?

**CandyCloud** · 12-12-2010 07:15 PM

Hi all,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month now and we've kissed, but it's always been closed-mouth! I've opened up my mouth to him to try and get something going, but he always keeps his closed! I know I couldn't be repulsive to him (like bad breath) because he wouldn't kiss me in the first place. Just the right kind of French kissing can really turn me on and arouse me, but he just isn't into it. Has anyone run across this? And what should I do? I know I'll have to confront him, but how do I put it into words exactly?

Thanks for any advice!

**sourpuss** · 12-12-2010 07:17 PM

My boyfriend doesn't either. He says he feels claustrophobic when we're that close. Some guys just can't handle their personal space being invaded I think. It's a bummer because kissing like that is so exciting.

**jns** · 12-12-2010 08:16 PM

If you really like open mouth kissing and consider it a deal breaker, you may have to look elsewhere if your SO isn't into it. Has anyone heard of someone who didn't like open mouth kissing, but then had a epiphany and liked it afterward? I find it exciting and erotic.

**WildChild** · 12-12-2010 08:20 PM

Had one who started out saying how much he enjoyed it, you're so good at it and then just stopped. Said he decided he didn't want to any more. 2 years later still wouldn't - that wasn't all that stopped. Finally I stopped seeing him even though I love him passionately, this list of won't dos just got too long.
I can cum from french kissing.

**SaharaJim** · 12-13-2010 10:19 AM

I(t seems to me this is an "intimacy" issue. If you have only been dating a "month" perhaps he isn't "comfortable" being that "intimate" yet. or maybe he doesn't know how you like to be kissed. Sometimes people just don't know what their partner "likes" and it isn't like they stop and ask (as a rule ...unfortunately). I had one girlfriend ( many years ago) who just couldn't or wouldn't learn what I like. She came on with tounge action like a rotor-rooter. I like a lot of tounge but GENTLY. But I think she needed/wanted the extreme stimulation of forceful tounging. Turned into a barometer for the relationship. We never proceeded past kissing because if we were incompatible on that and neither would "change" the rest would almost certainly be a mismatch. I don't feel either of us was "wrong" just not "right" for each other. You might try ; the next time he kisses you, pulling back just a fraction and gently licking his lips; just little touches and see if he "opens up" to this. You may be "opening" a "whole new world" for him.

**kygirl** · 12-13-2010 10:45 AM

I would ask him straight out. Just be honest and tell him you enjoy french kissing and you're not why he won't? Maybe he thinks he's bad at it or something? If you tell him how important it is to you, perhaps he'll be open to at least trying it

**ren_07** · 12-13-2010 04:59 PM

My last man actually would never French kiss. He would only do this weird thing where he would suck my lower lip. It was so weird I got so turned off after awhile. I finally just flat out asked him what the frick was going on and he said he was insecure about his mouth size and thought it was too small/tongue wasn't long enough to properly French. Weirdest excuse I'd ever heard.

I think any relationship needs chemistry. So it's ultimately gonna be up to you if it's something you're willing to give up if you end up talking to him about it and he says he prefers not to. I mean, you figured it out yourself you're gonna have to ask him haha I'd still wait a little longer into the relationship like another month and see if you guys get more comfortable and he'll be more ready to do that. Like others have said, it could just be too early for him (but knowing guys, it's never too early for anything!)

**stressed** · 12-14-2010 09:42 PM

You can ask him to kiss you like that because you really like it and you can also ask how he feels about the idea. It might make him think about it or at least tell you why he doesn't do it. He may be insecure or worried he'll do it wrong. No need to confront him, just ask him nicely to do it for you (and add how good he was at it that you want more of it, even if it's not, it will make him want to do it again and he'll probably become better at it). Just keep reminding him or start doing it to him.

**Hopeless Dork** · 12-14-2010 10:00 PM

A guy that won't use his tongue for kissing... well... they might not want to use their tongue at all. You are only a month in on this one... if he has intimacy issues you have to decide if you want to spend the rest of your relationship trying to work through them or move on and hope that he can either work that out on his own or with therapy... of find a girl that doesn't like kissing either.

It could be that he's just nervous, insecure or afraid he'll do it wrong like others have said... if thats the case its not intimacy issues, more of a confidence issue and that is way something easy to work through with a little reassurance as long as he is into you and wants to make you happy and feel good.

But if he's closed off, cold fish... you have to take into consideration that it may be his way and you can't make anyone change.. it could just be an ill-match up.

**stressed** · 12-15-2010 03:28 PM

My guy has just started doing that, after years, just because I told him it's too bad he doesn't do it as he was great at it the one-two times he's tried. It was this thread that made me tell him about it actually and it's been two days straight now. I'm surprised how easy this was to be honest...