What should I do? Im confused

**SweetP** · 12-29-2010 09:25 AM

Not sure if I should continue to date this guy. I see the potential of what a great boyfriend he can be but so far it hasn't been going well. We've been dating for a month, Im not his girlfriend yet and not sure I want to be. It seems like we both have to put a lot of work into it to make it work. We both are stubborn and dont want to give in. I feel like once you start caring for someone you begin to let go of a lot of things like selfishness and stubborness but should I wait for that to occur or just walk away. To be honest it will be easier to just walk away because I feel like I have to put a lot of effort into it. Hes been pointing a lot of fingers at me too which isnt a good sign because he must think hes perfect.

Should I give it more time to improve? Or should I just throw in the towel before it gets worse?
HELP

**KMonte85** · 12-29-2010 11:58 AM

Never stay in a relationship because you see what the person you are with "could" be. You are with the person he is RIGHT NOW.

Selfish? Stubborn to a fault? Blaming? Deflecting?

Doesn't sound like great boyfriend material. You do what you think is right, but based on what you've already written about how you feel, how it has only been a month of dating, he's not even your bf yet and you're not sure the relationship is going in a good direction, etc... I'm pretty sure you already know that the best path for you to take is.

**WildChild** · 12-29-2010 01:12 PM

You can't have a relationship with someone's potential, only with who they are.

**kaldodson** · 12-30-2010 10:14 AM

Honestly,
every person that are in a relationship bad or good, see the potential of there partner. Or else it wouldn't have started. The same could even be said in most abusive relationships.

You have to see the way he is now.
I wouldn't stay in the relationship.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 12-30-2010 10:25 AM

Nope. People usually put their best foot forward in the beginning of a relationship. If this is the best foot, then do you really want to hang around to see the real foot?

LOTS of people have the potential in life to be more than they are. That does NOT mean they'll ever live up to that potential. Every jerk off I've ever dated had the "potential" to be a really good guy. You can't bank a relationship on potential.

Red flags. Intuition says no. Listen to it.