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Thread: I'm not ready. How do I tell him??

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array kaldodson's Avatar
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    Default I'm not ready. How do I tell him??

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    Okay,
    Earlier this year I had a pretty scary pregnancy scare.
    I'm very young and am in no way near ready to be a mom.

    So I'm just not very comfortable quite yet to have sex outside of a relationship.

    What are some ways you can stop the pressure without hurting his feelings or sounding like a ?

  2. #2
    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    How is he making you feel putting pressure on you?
    Is HE considering Your feelings?
    Doesn't sound like it.
    Tell him to bug off. He won't die of not having sex with you.
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

  3. #3
    Junior Member Array kaldodson's Avatar
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    This isn't an actual guy.
    Just in general.

    Like if we were hanging out and stuff,
    What should I say to make him know I'm not going to have sex with him?

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    Well, if you are not ready to have sex with him then don't. If you tell him this he should understand and respect you for making it clear to him.

    You should never compromise your values or your beliefs for someone else. You will only have yourself to answer to. If you can't respect yourself and your own beliefs by owning up to them and making them known than why would someone else respect you?

    If he runs then at least you know it's not about you but the sex. Better to know that sooner rather than later.

    I would make it clear before things escalate, so that he might be more understanding rather than the last second.

  5. #5
    WH MODERATOR Array Beautiful Disaster's Avatar
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    I'm not ready. How do I tell him??
    Just exactly like that. Your body, your life, your choice. It is not your responsibility, nor your job to give someone you're with sex just because they want it. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong when you start dating someone new and the issue comes up, to be totally honest, "I am not ready for a sexual relationship at this point in my life". If he's cool with that and willing to get to know YOU and build a foundation that does include your vagina, then great, maybe he's worthy of keeping. If not, let him hit the road and find a girl to use as a semen receptacle. I think being honest with someone new is always the best policy. That way you know up front if you're in it for the same reasons, and if you're not, then you don't waste your time.

    Your body, your life, your choice. Period.

    "Be what you're looking for."

    "The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."



  6. #6
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    just say strait up "not happenin" keeps em interested longer too.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaldodson View Post
    This isn't an actual guy.
    Just in general.

    Like if we were hanging out and stuff,
    What should I say to make him know I'm not going to have sex with him?
    if u don't wanna mess around, thats ur right not to.

    now, since u dont wanna "hurt" the guys feelings...this is what you should do.

    while ur "hanging out" mention how he reminds u of ur brother or your father or something. make sure he he hears that...then he'll know he doesn't have a shot at closing.

    but leading him, and never letting him hit the jackpot...well thats pretty cruel. so don't do that unless you wanna torture the guy.

  8. #8
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaldodson View Post
    Okay,
    Earlier this year I had a pretty scary pregnancy scare.
    I'm very young and am in no way near ready to be a mom.

    So I'm just not very comfortable quite yet to have sex outside of a relationship.

    What are some ways you can stop the pressure without hurting his feelings or sounding like a ?

    Even in a relationship, you can fall pregnant....

    You have to decide if your scared to have sex, with someone you don't trust, and possibly get pregnant as to your question, or whether, you purely don't want sex, unless in a committed relationship....

    If it's through fear of getting pregnant? As, you state that as a reason, then if you can't talk to your Mother, confide in an Aunt, or visit a family health clinic and discuss birth control ....

    There's no need going through life in any form of fear....

    As for no sex casually? That's your priogrative, if he doesn't like that notation, then he was only after sex...Remember, it's your body and the only male that would be hurt, or think your ...is a male that doesn't like you for you, and is purely after sex....

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

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