I'm not the only guy who doesn't like the chase.

**Hurley** · 12-30-2010 08:12 PM

*No Outbound links*

Here there's loads of replys from men who don't like the chase, so enough with all this "men are natural hunters" and "it's the mans duty too chase".

Here's some quotes from men who don't like the chase from that thread, I didn't even have to patience to read through all that so theres probably alot more.

"I used to but stopped because she had control over me and I looked dumb chasing her around all the time. but I guess most guys think like I do or been through a situation were they didn't like to chase girls."

"Do I chase girls? No, it's needy.

Do I approach girls I find attractive, initiate the conversation and get the ball rolling, yes. "

"Why should anyone have to work for it? If you both want each other why would anyone play hard to get? Women don't have to work very hard for men, (although they think they do -- they spend a lot of effort on stuff men don't care much about,) so why should men have to work hard for women? If a woman wants to know more about a man before getting into a relationship, that's actually good. But such a situation should be made obvious to both people. Playing hard to get is just retarded"

"I don't really chase girls anymore, because honestly, it's getting tedious and boring with all the chasing. I don't want it to be too easy, but chasing is just childish and boring. I don't like to play games and figure out whether a girl likes me or not by deciphering her mixed signals. If she acts like she isn't interested, I just move on and stop wasting my time on her. "

"If you believe you deserve to be chased, you need to get over yourself. It's so absurdly selfish, like a guy asking "Hey why don't women just do whatever we say anymore? Remember the good 'ol days when we could just beat them to vent some anger? Where have all the real women gone?"

If you have respect for human beings, you don't expect them to do things you'd never do. "

"No because chasing is for children. I'm not saying be super easy, but don't play games and make us guess too much. That always causes problems and frustration. Save it. "

"when I was 23, I was falsely accused of sexual harassment, just because I said "hello to the wrong woman. they made me sit through a sexual harassment video and I got a written warning. I swore from then on, that any woman that wanted me, would have to ask me out, and make the first move. I swore I would not even look at a girl or say hello, unless she said hi first!
I am 40 now. and still single. I kept my word "

" "what happened to you is rare"
but guess what, it happens more than women think, and it happened to me, and any woman that says or implies "get over it" just shows how insensitive she is to a man's feelings"

there are tons of websites out there about men who are falsely accused of things and they are scarred. and women just don't care how men feel.
women always ask why there are so many bitter men. "

^^^ guess why I come across as bitter in my posts?

These where just some posts I saw of men who didn't like chasing a woman, and I didn't read through that whole thing(too long, not enough patience lol) so this whole ALL men like the chase? not true.

**ItsASecret** · 12-30-2010 08:38 PM

Okay you don't like it, don't do its not that difficult. Be one of the numbers you found online there is nothing wrong with that. If a woman is being annoying by wanting a man to take the initiative then move onto the next, there are several billion women to sift through at least one will be the woman you are looking for. Post in your dating site bio that you would like a woman to take the initiative in a relationship, women do read those. Vent your problems, talk about how you dislike that women like act how you describe, do whatever you would like that you feel would better yourself cause it ain't going to change how other men or women operate.

**WildChild** · 12-30-2010 08:49 PM

It does need to be give and take. I agree.
Things are changing but they won't change fast. Many men feel as you do, many prefer to be the one to take the first step. Do you have many women freinds? That may be a good place to start. By being comfortable with women in no stress interactions you can really get to know them and find out how compatible you are.

You might want to look at some of the practices of the sex positive community. Permission is asked by both genders before any touch, even during sex. It puts things on another level.

The way my parents or your grandparents did thing, what they considered to be rules of dating, have changed. People are still figuring out it should work. Instead of getting upset, why not get creative?

Secret's suggestion for ads is a good place to start.

**Hurley** · 12-30-2010 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by ItsASecret

Okay you don't like it, don't do its not that difficult. Be one of the numbers you found online there is nothing wrong with that. If a woman is being annoying by wanting a man to take the initiative then move onto the next, there are several billion women to sift through at least one will be the woman you are looking for. Post in your dating site bio that you would like a woman to take the initiative in a relationship, women do read those. Vent your problems, talk about how you dislike that women like act how you describe, do whatever you would like that you feel would better yourself cause it ain't going to change how other men or women operate.

I don't have any problem with taking the first initative and putting in effort.... But chasing? No, that I won't do. If I have to chase a woman then she isn't intrested enough. Chasing is a different matter than making the first move, chasing is when the guy puts in ALL the effort, initiates ALL contact.... In an ideal situation I would make the first move and ask the woman out for the first 2-3 times but after that the woman would start reciprocating and plan dates herself and initiate contact and so on.

I made this thread just to show that I'm FAR from being the only guy who thinks this way. I can dig up more quotes and go on and on... It's a lie and a myth that all men like the chase.

**WildChild** · 12-30-2010 08:59 PM

Thing is Hurley, there are all sorts of men. Just as there are all sorts of women. I'm older and I have no problem inviting a man to do things with me but I've encountered some who refuse anything a woman suggests because they think its an effort to control them. They may turn around and suggest virtually the same thing. People are funny.

Relationships can be frustrating and painful but they can also be wonderful.

Find ways to express what you want positively. When you meet a woman you are attracted to and it looks like it could go someplace. let her know that you want an equitable relationship and want her to plan and initiate part of the time. There are women who will be delighted.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-30-2010 09:16 PM

Darn, if I had read all of that, as a young guy, my head would be spinning and probably brainwashed

Now, the real question is, what has happened to you when you did chase?
And
What happens when you don't chase?

That would be more interesting to gage for you personally...

CW

**jns** · 12-31-2010 12:23 AM

Hurley, I think that having guys chase them is a game for some women, but for others it is a serious attempt to see if the guy has the right instincts and enough passion.

**SidneyAlive** · 12-31-2010 02:52 AM

If i set my sights on a guy, i'll go after him, however that doesn't happen very often..

**Hurley** · 12-31-2010 08:19 AM

Originally Posted by WildChild

Thing is Hurley, there are all sorts of men. Just as there are all sorts of women. I'm older and I have no problem inviting a man to do things with me but I've encountered some who refuse anything a woman suggests because they think its an effort to control them. They may turn around and suggest virtually the same thing. People are funny.

Relationships can be frustrating and painful but they can also be wonderful.

Find ways to express what you want positively. When you meet a woman you are attracted to and it looks like it could go someplace. let her know that you want an equitable relationship and want her to plan and initiate part of the time. There are women who will be delighted.

No doub't offcourse. But there seems to be a common misconception that all men like the chase. Offcourse alot of men do infact enjoy the chase, But from what I have seen there's an equal amount of men who hates the chase. When a woman takes the initative, shure she runs the risk of getting rejected because the man doesn't like it.... Alot of men would love it if a woman took the initative, but it seems if women get rejected even once when doing so they quickly say they'll never do it again and that men hate it when they don't get the chase and so on.... nevermind the fact that men get rejected all the time, but that doesn't stop us.

**SidneyAlive** · 12-31-2010 08:47 AM

Well it's very obvious you don't like the chase, so i would like to suggest that you just sit back and wait til a woman comes after you..

i wish you luck..