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Thread: anxiety over boyfriend watching porn?

  1. #1
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    Unhappy anxiety over boyfriend watching porn?

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    Ive been living with my boyfriend for 3 months now, we have sex regularly and are content with the relationship. A month after i moved in, he was having a stressful day and took a shower and i heard what sounded like him masterbateing. i didnt confront him right away and ever since then, everytime he showers i have panic attacks and whenever i go to work i worry that he is probley watching porn. ive delt with anxiety for years now but it has never been this bad. when i talked to him about it recently he told me he wouldnt watch porn anymore because he dosnt want me to feel upset, but still everytime he showers my heart races and i feel so nervous. i know it has to do with my insecurites. how do i get these feelings undercontrol, i want to trust him!

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    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    Why not slip into the shower with him?
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

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    I completely agree with WC.

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    Why does it bother you so much that he watches porn if you are both content with the relationship and it isn't causing any problems? My ex-bf told me openly at the beginning of the relationship that he watched porn and didn't seem like he was going to change. Although I felt uneasy about it, I realised it didn't affect our relationship in any way really and that he got something different out of it than being with me. I did a lot of reading about the subject and other people too

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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) FEBRUARY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array stressed's Avatar
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    Ask him why he didn't share this with you, or why he didn't ask you to join him, or why couldn't he wait a few minutes to get out of the shower and take you to bed.

    With you at home I only see this as a waste of sex. He'd rather do that than have sex. I wonder why and so should you.

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    Junior Member Array LCitsonlybuisness's Avatar
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    Try sharing the shower. men love porn its in their genes its nothing to worry about.
    i used to worry about my guy watching porn. i used to think he was watching them because i wasnt good enough or because i couldnt satisfy him.
    its not the case tho men need to "clear the pipes" often. and i see that as the reason they watch porn. You should just get more involved.
    Im sure he would much rather do the real thing rather than watch other people at it.
    xxxxx
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    Life is what you make it...

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    Junior Member Array Ahmed M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LCitsonlybuisness View Post
    Try sharing the shower. men love porn its in their genes its nothing to worry about.
    i used to worry about my guy watching porn. i used to think he was watching them because i wasnt good enough or because i couldnt satisfy him.
    its not the case tho men need to "clear the pipes" often. and i see that as the reason they watch porn. You should just get more involved.
    Im sure he would much rather do the real thing rather than watch other people at it.
    xxxxx
    That's not true. Men like me cope just fine without porn. Men were fine before porn existed so I don't see why anyone "needs" it now.

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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) FEBRUARY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array stressed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ahmed M View Post
    That's not true. Men like me cope just fine without porn. Men were fine before porn existed so I don't see why anyone "needs" it now.
    You're a quality guy. You have my respect. I wish more men were like you.

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    Men can cope without porn, but it is REALLY old. There was certainly explicit porn in ancient Rome, and I'm pretty sure in ancient Greece (~2500 years ago). Earlier than that is tough to tell, but one can wonder what the "fat woman" fertility figures from 30,000BC were for.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ahmed M View Post
    That's not true. Men like me cope just fine without porn. Men were fine before porn existed so I don't see why anyone "needs" it now.

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    But that was amateur porn

    Porn these days is bad, porn these days is boring,
    Photoshop and plastic bodies, porn leaves me snoring.


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