Thread: Boyfriend Issue - "Less attracted"

Lol wow I just posted an issue like this but from a guy's perspective. I'm not as attracted to my gf anymore either. She satisfies me but its a LONG distance relationship so it makes things especially difficult when she can't "satisfy me". I don't desire her really anymore, Im finding really difficult understanding how we will have a life together because she lives in Philippines and I live in USA. Anyway, when I was with her for 4 months I lost desire really fast. Sex is great but I really struggled to go through it sometimes. She is a model and she's definitly hot so somethign chemically isn't doin it. Don't blame yourself. I don't like spending all my time at home talking to her on skype either but I don't want to lose her so Ive made a lot of compromises. I've started thinking that it might be because she's my first love too. We both went into it OVERDRIVE. We talk about children, being married, and all this stuff. I think it was too fast and I think shared ourselves sexually too fast or too much. Thatm ight be your problem idk. Being young doesnt help because I dont know what its like to go through a string of really bad relationships and realize what i have is something i should ohld on to. Your bf probably knows this and doesnt want to let go. However it just builds up angst and grudges. I think you guys need space. If my gf would give me space just to really hammer it into my head i need her always id do that but she says she doesnt ever want to see me again if we go on a break. It could also be something sexual. I drifted outside my relationship a bit by looking at porn that had girls with bigger butts which has always interested me. My gf doesn't had one so I satisfied that desire elsewhere. Well she found out about this and cut if off and now whenever i see a big butt I have to do everything posible to keep my head turned away. I'm thinking if I go on to another relationship, I'm sticking with big butts to ensure I can never make an excuse that her butt isnt good enough. In fact my gfs butt is great butt ya just isnt Brazilian and honestly I have never cared until my porn was cut off. Men can be really primal and simple. Let them breathe a little and tease them a bit. Don't be too easy, make him think he's earning sex, make him think he is EARNING hanging out with you. Don't make him jealous just dangle a carrot of some sort. My gf wont do this so I cant use my own advice haha. But anyway theres my 2 cents from a guys perspective.

i think you should work on it with him. there is no sense in giving up on someone you truly love with all your heart, especialy if it hasnt happened very much, (the problems you explained) then you have alot of wiggle room so to speak. just try and see if you can work it out but if you too just seemed to grow apart or he cant handle you or visa versa, then you cant spend time on beating a dead horse.

Thanks for your responses! WildChild, your post makes a lot of sense, and helped me to view the situation. foxman09, do you think maybe you're depressed or have a medical issue? Maybe talk to a doctor? theandytheambassador, thanks for your post -- we're going to work on things!

We talked again and I told him that I don't want to be in a relationship that I'd be holding onto with fingertips, and he was very quick to say it wasn't, that he wanted it to work, and explained some other things and his own issues. He explained that when we first met, my attractiveness was new to him, and he's gotten used to it, which from what I've noticed looking around online, when you've been together almost three years, is pretty normal. He stressed that he's still attracted to me, and we talked over a few other issues. So, we're going to work on it, and I can already tell he's trying to do his part.

Thanks for being here for me for these personal issues!