Girlfriend saw Ex-Boyfriend

**ALPHA_MALE** · 01-25-2011 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by Seeker_Advice

Do I understand this correctly? You've been in a relationship with this woman for three years and you care that she's seen an ex ? Really? The woman that I love sees an ex of hers all the time...so? There's a reason he's an ex.... Maybe I'm missing something that needs further explanation... I better wait to find out before commenting further.

Yeah? Is it cool for her to hang out with an ex whenever we get into a fight? Seeing an ex in this situation is like sticking your hand in a lions den. I think im ready to dump this manipulative(edit)

**JadedQueen** · 01-25-2011 07:10 PM

Whoa.... I think the green eyed monster is taking over. I had this ex and he and I were really close friends, we just didn't work as a relationship and we both knew it. Well, he had a new girlfriend and she was kinda standoffish and I thought she just didn't like me. When I would come over she would go back to her room and hide out and I thought it was strange. I mentioned it to my ex and he said she is just shy and it takes awhile to get to know her. Well.... they got into a fight one night and she called me to complain to me about him which shocked me cuz she didn't really talk to me. I ended up giving her good advice cuz I knew how his mind worked and they worked things out.... after that whenever they would get into a fight she would call me and tell me she was sending him to my house to talk sense into him.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-25-2011 10:52 PM

ALPHA-MALE

Welcome to the Forum...

You know, name calling shows anger, your reply to Seeker shows anger...so are you frustrated and want advice on this? Or just want to display anger?

Originally Posted by ALPHA_MALE

He told her that he had a death in the family and he was going through a really hard time. Bunch of . One of the oldest lines in the Guy's Book of How to get Woman's Sympathy.

Yes, it is...so what was her reaction when you told her exactly that?

Is it cool for her to hang out with an ex whenever we get into a fight? Seeing an ex in this situation is like sticking your hand in a lions den. I

Did you tell us that before? No...There is a lot missing to this story...So fighting, anger, who starts it? What are they about? Who believes it's okay to be in touch with your ex's or else it's called controlling you or her? (Lana's notation to your other post in another thread)...

Sounds that she is seeking your attention and doing this deliberately, if it is only when a fight occurs that she presses your buttons.

I would say, that you fight regularily over jealousy issues maybe, call her names, such as you have here, she feels dis-respected, she runs to her past, to eat at you... Otherwise, you have trust issues and don't trust her...

As Seeker & WC pointed out, you've been with her for 3 years, if you don't trust her then you shouldn't be with her...

And, as this thread seems to be going in different directions, when pray tell did she tell you about her non-commital previous relationships....

Stories have to be consistent...as does the information up-front...

CW

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-26-2011 06:19 AM

I think anything you ask of your significant other, you have to be prepared to offer yourself. If you don't think she should be friends with an ex, she should respect that ... but are you ready to not be friends with someone that she asks you not to be? Ex or not? You have to be real careful about the seed you are planting by not believing his intentions could be platonic... that would be screaming to me... that YOU are incapable of platonic relationships with females if you cant fathom this man being able to be that way.

Relationships come with boundries... which differ for every couple, based on their own experiences and feelings... whats acceptable in some may not be so in others... so its important to have open communication and discuss how things feel to you, what your worries are etc.. and to reach a compromise together on what things you will or won't do in order to respect how each other feels.

Her past interest in non-commital relationships is completely irrelevent if she is committed to you and has made it clear she wants a committed relationship now. Do you seriously expect to judge her as never wanting a serious relationship because she didn't in the past? Are you prepared to be judged on all the actions you took before the two of you met? Not real fair, at all.