I'm a guy and I need help on how to approach women

**phdinphy21** · 02-28-2011 10:40 PM

Thanks so much Mighty Grasshopper, chandler's wish, and Itsasecret. I absolutely value each post.
What happens if nothing comes immediately to my head. I mean if for example, I'm at school and a really pretty girl just walks past me. I turn around, catch up with her, and stop her. There's nothing that seems too interesting about her. She's dressed normal, maybe jean shorts and a normal top. She is still very gorgeous though. What can I say? I wanna say thank you again for all the advice you guys are giving me.

**phdinphy21** · 02-28-2011 10:41 PM

Thanks so much Mighty Grasshopper, chandler's wish, and Itsasecret. I absolutely value each post.
What happens if nothing comes immediately to my head. I mean if for example, I'm at school and a really pretty girl just walks past me. I turn around, catch up with her, and stop her. There's nothing that seems too interesting about her. She's dressed normal, maybe jean shorts and a normal top. She is still very gorgeous though. What can I say? I wanna say thank you again for all the advice you guys are giving me.

**Mighty Grasshopper** · 03-01-2011 12:53 AM

There's no magical phrase. Just start talking and the conversation will take its course. If she likes you she will help make it easier for you. If she keeps walking and ignores you or doesn't seem too friendly after the initial approach then you can excuse yourself.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-01-2011 03:15 AM

Aim at the eyes, worse comes to worse, the eyes always have it

A window actually to the soul.

CW

**ItsASecret** · 03-01-2011 07:26 AM

I'm at school and a really pretty girl just walks past me. I turn around, catch up with her, and stop her.

You do not do that. If a girl is at school do not just stop her dead in her tracks and make a comment about her looks, ever been hurrying to a midterm? You do not want interruptions lol. It is creepy for a guy to just stop a woman, especially in the school setting, and just say your hot or whatever. I am in University, you see this all the time. Guys are actually labeled 'dogs' when they do things like that because they are checking out the body and that is what they are after (not saying those are your intentions but it is extremely common). You are not a dog, the other guys are, you must avoid a girl thinking that you are. The key is finding a way to let her notice you in subtle ways without making a huge deal out of it. If you notice she is in your class and you are waiting outside the class make eye contact and smile. Next time maybe if you see her again waiting ask her something about the class like "when again was that assignment due? I have been busy with other school work so I forgot". Then maybe crack a joke about how dull the prof is. That is light conversation but keeping a common interest, that being maybe you both find the class dull...its a small topic but its something.

The other thing to keep in mind about these girls our age, I am 22 btw, in school is that many of them will be in relationships. Many will even be engaged, check for that ring, if it is there leave her alone. If she is in a relationship do not ask her if she is lol, that will come across right off the bat as you had other intentions other than being friendly to her. If you do find a lady who is taking your friendly gestures and seems interested in you at school ask her for a coffee during a break between classes. There are always tons of shops on campus, heck if you are Canadian it is Roll Up the Rim contest right now so you can even joke about winning her a car with the cup you buy her.

**Mighty Grasshopper** · 03-01-2011 11:04 AM

I think its only creepy if you come off creepy and/or look creepy. If a guy looks like a George Clooney or Justin Bieber (if that's your thing) then the lady may be less likely to think he's a dog.

**phdinphy21** · 03-01-2011 12:15 PM

Grasshopper, I guess you're right. It's scary going in knowing you don't know what you're going to say but ahh, I'll try.
You have a great point Itsasecret, but I really hope thats not an absolute truth. I really don't know too many girls right now. I'm in college as well but now I'm taking advanced courses and not trying to be mean but, the girls that are in my class are not so attractive. I really don't want to be labeled as a dog though. I would like to actually be with someone that I like. I never had that.
Well actually I couldn't sleep last night so I stayed up thinking about this. If I try not to mention her beauty, can I comment on what she's doing (I mean if she's doing something), or how she's dressed, or maybe a specific act or gesture.
What I mean is if she helped someone pick up some papers from the floor is it ok to say something like "hey it was really nice of you to help that person," and then continue from there?

**phdinphy21** · 03-01-2011 12:18 PM

It's just that most of the girls that I see that I have an urge to meet are not doing anything too much that I can comment on. They're just usually walking to class or I guess back to their car to go home

**ItsASecret** · 03-01-2011 01:50 PM

It is all in how you present yourself. Being at school is actually a great place to be because it is a sober place (key) and people there are going to be well off because they got there, they are clearly focused on their future. Many guys though will see so many girls there as nothing but 'prey' so to speak, you are not those guys. Being on campus means plenty of opportunities in regards to common interest which is of course key to meeting someone. There will be some lady there that has your same interests lol. If one does not work out there are plenty of other women somewhere on campus, hope is not lost.

Just put yourself in her position whenever you like a girl. You are wanting to find someone that is interested in you, not your body, not how freaky you are in bed, not how hammered you get on the weekend, and so on. Remember if she is pretty she knows it, she will be continuously commented on her appearance. And unless she is a woman who thrives off of attention she may get annoyed with no one actually being interested in her, but are interested in her body. She may shrug off all nice attempts you give her because she has seen and heard it all before. Mind you there is nothing wrong with complimenting a woman, we love that stuff, but keep it grounded. Do not emphasize you like her DD boobs, do not mention how she looks 'hot'. Compliment on the things you think she would genuinely (as well as you think) are pretty. Her smile, her eyes. But remember not to be the 'dog' like campus guys that will be everywhere. Do not ogle, do not stare, smile more often than anything. A smile is sometimes all that is needed, and from there it does not need to be a long conversation it can be a "having a good day?". What would work best in your situation is if you casually met a lady and did not make a big deal of it and then you saw her again maybe outside of class for example and she recognizes you. You can from there make more casual conversation, again avoiding her appearance, just keep it to casual 'I would actually like to know you talk'. That is why mentioning things about class can be the ice breaker, and from there maybe offer to study buddy if you find out she is having difficulty with a subject. Keep things simple but meaningful.

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