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  1. #1
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    my boyfriend talks way too much how do i get him to just shut up and listen

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    July 2011 Poster of the Month Array kristalyn_04's Avatar
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    In what context is he talking so much? Is it in an argumentative way or is he just trying to have a conversation with you?
    How can you see where you're going if you spend your whole life looking over your shoulder? –Naughty Ninja

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    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    meymey,

    Are you the type that takes the lead in most all that occurs in your relationship?

    Sometimes it's personalities one wants to tell their side, and the other trys to justify and talks over the top.

    What type of personalities do you both have...

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

  4. #4
    jns
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    March 2011 Poster of the Month Array jns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by meymey View Post
    my boyfriend talks way too much how do i get him to just shut up and listen
    Why don't you try a conversation. It doesn't include either side filibustering (continuing ad nauseam without the other side getting to speak). It includes a few sentences at most and then a pause to allow the other side to enter the conversation. Many people have trouble with this concept. Try to point it out to your bf. But don't hint, guys don't do hints.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    Patrick Henry

  5. #5
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    what i mean by he talks too much is if u ask him a simple question like are u coming over tonight it takes like five mins to answer when all he really has to say is yes or no

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    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    How about telling us a conversation?

    Like what he says in those 5 minutes, because you haven't stated he says no at the end, and if he does and alot, then he's talking to get out of it, not wanting to say yes, because he doesn't want to.
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

  7. #7
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) FEBRUARY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array stressed's Avatar
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    Maybe he's been lonely for a while and he's happy + needs someone to talk to? (and you're the best person he can do that with).

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    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    If he's coming over, just start laughing and say, "Whoa, lets save something to talk about when you get here." If you are in person, you could redirect, hand him a glass of water or just lean in and kiss him. Or tell him, "Your time's up, now its my turn."

    But if it is a serious problem, he interupts, you really don't get a chance to have a conversation, cause its just his monologue, sit him down, put your finger to his lips and tell him you have something to say and he needs to listen. Then calmly tell him what he is doing and that it needs to stop. A conversation is two or more people sharing thoughts and information, not a lecture or a one man show. Maybe have a word or gesture that you use to let him know when he is doing it again. This is especially good in public where it may not be appropriate to hit him with a frying pan over the head for doing it again.
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

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    July 2011 Poster of the Month Array kristalyn_04's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WildChild View Post
    This is especially good in public where it may not be appropriate to hit him with a frying pan over the head for doing it again.
    LMAO! Can you imagine? It's surprising to hear that a guy talks too much, usually it's the woman flapping her mouth and he can't get a word in edgewise. When you let him know about this little issue, try not to be lecturing or judgmental about it or sound too harsh. Just calmly and nicely let him know that it bothers you and you'd like to help him work on it.
    How can you see where you're going if you spend your whole life looking over your shoulder? –Naughty Ninja

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