Dating advice

**seli** · 02-17-2011 01:14 PM

I'm 24 and have had 2 serious relationships. The last one lasted for 3 years and was quite serious so it took me another year to get over it. I've recently got back into the dating game and I feel a bit lost with what to do with this guy I have been seeing.

After we met, he asked for my number and he called me a couple of days later to arrange our first date. We had a great first date, he cooked for me and we seemed to get along well. We tried to have sex but he went soft (twice!) so I was a bit worried that this would put him off from another date.
Nonetheless, he called me again and set up another date. The next one was better and this time we had sex, it was great, no problems this time. We don't text or call each other besides organising dates and up till this point it had always been him who contacted me first. Last week i asked him if he was free to do something on Satrday, he wasn't so we said this week. However, on Saturday he called to say he was free in teh end as his dinner with friends was cancelled. SO I ended up going over to his place after my dinner with friends and we spent a long time chatting and then I stayed over again after we had sex. Since then, I haven't heard from him and I don't want to be the one to make first contact. Am I being silly about that or should I not worry about who calls/texts who? I know it's early days to tell whether this is anything or just casual but Idon't really know how to "play" it from here! I feel so out of the dating game!!!
Advice about what I should/or shouldn't fo next would be appreciated!
Thanks!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-17-2011 01:59 PM

Hi Seli,

It's good that your ready to date again.

It's difficult to work out how to get it right though after so long not dating..

You know a man doesn't invite you to his house on the first date, because there's a bedroom and that's his intention.

In my opinion, it didn't go to plan on the first date, so he tried again and it went to plan now he's making excuses unless it suits him.

See, how can a man get to know the inner you, who you are, properly and start to fall for you unless he takes the time to properly date you, you will also see that he's serious about wanting a relationship as he persues you and you him.

Unfortunately, if their intention is to get you into bed and by inviting you to his house that's the intention and it's succeeded, then he's concoured what he wanted ..

Dating.

He asks you out for dinner someone in public, coffee, a walk... he kisses you good night and asks you out for a second date, or says he'll call you and he does, he takes you out on a second date and you start to hit it off even further, he again off course wants sex, but holds off and kisses you again but more intensely and makes another date..

That's what your hoping for more so..

Don't be this guys booty call... Or any mans.

Play it from here, as ignore him....if he seriously liked you even though he orchestrated getting you to his house , his bedroom, then he'll date you properly and not use your sexually..

Texting each other , calling is no problem, in my opinion sleeping on the first date, second date makes a man think you would and have done that on every date and so they don't take it further.

Silly how the mind thinks because in my opinion we should be able to be ourselves and do what we want..

CW

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-24-2011 02:46 PM

Bumping

**seli** · 02-28-2011 03:02 PM

Bumping??

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Bumping

**seli** · 02-28-2011 03:05 PM

Thanks for the advice. It's been very slow so I think this guy only wants sex or something very casual so I will take heed of your advice!

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Hi Seli,

It's good that your ready to date again.

It's difficult to work out how to get it right though after so long not dating..

You know a man doesn't invite you to his house on the first date, because there's a bedroom and that's his intention.

In my opinion, it didn't go to plan on the first date, so he tried again and it went to plan now he's making excuses unless it suits him.

See, how can a man get to know the inner you, who you are, properly and start to fall for you unless he takes the time to properly date you, you will also see that he's serious about wanting a relationship as he persues you and you him.

Unfortunately, if their intention is to get you into bed and by inviting you to his house that's the intention and it's succeeded, then he's concoured what he wanted ..

Dating.

He asks you out for dinner someone in public, coffee, a walk... he kisses you good night and asks you out for a second date, or says he'll call you and he does, he takes you out on a second date and you start to hit it off even further, he again off course wants sex, but holds off and kisses you again but more intensely and makes another date..

That's what your hoping for more so..

Don't be this guys booty call... Or any mans.

Play it from here, as ignore him....if he seriously liked you even though he orchestrated getting you to his house , his bedroom, then he'll date you properly and not use your sexually..

Texting each other , calling is no problem, in my opinion sleeping on the first date, second date makes a man think you would and have done that on every date and so they don't take it further.

Silly how the mind thinks because in my opinion we should be able to be ourselves and do what we want..

CW

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-28-2011 03:27 PM

Sorry seli, Bumping means bringing the thread back up so other's will reply to you or it gets lost in the system..

You are free to choose, dating for serious, a relationship or dating for casual, including sex, it's your life sweet...

But, it can be hard to work out the way to date for a relationship when out of the loop...