why i couldn't make my girl friend turn on ? what can be the reasons?

**david_a** · 03-04-2011 11:50 AM

i am a male, and when i was going to have sex with my girl friend who was in love with me, she said her body didn't get turn on while we were just in for play step. and she said she loves me but probably she was wrong that she thought she love me as a boy friend.i think she is still in love with me! what should i do? i should add this point she has known me for more than 6 months as a friend! i shocked because we were just in for play step.
i really don't know she didn't like my sexy approach or i didn't have physical attraction for her? i know i am not an experienced guy

**WildChild** · 03-04-2011 12:42 PM

What is play step?

**pretzel** · 03-04-2011 12:50 PM

Originally Posted by WildChild

What is play step?

WC, I think he meant to say "foreplay step" where you read "for play step"

**david_a** · 03-04-2011 01:23 PM

yes i mean "foreplay step", sorry for this mistake.

**pretzel** · 03-04-2011 01:41 PM

Not sure, but it seems like there are some mixed signals on her end, i.e. she's not sure if she sees you more than a friend or as someone in a relationship. That's a big issue.

Also, not sure if I read wrong, but I got the impression that you had a preconcieved plan as to what you should do as foreplay and it didn't work. That wouldn't suprise me at all. Foreplay is about the person your with, not the process of leading up to sex.

**david_a** · 03-04-2011 01:52 PM

Originally Posted by pretzel

Not sure, but it seems like there are some mixed signals on her end, i.e. she's not sure if she sees you more than a friend or as someone in a relationship. That's a big issue.

Also, not sure if I read wrong, but I got the impression that you had a preconcieved plan as to what you should do as foreplay and it didn't work. That wouldn't suprise me at all. Foreplay is about the person your with, not the process of leading up to sex.

yes, you are right, she was confused if she like me as a friend or as relationship, but when we were just friend, she used to get jealous when i attend another girl.
i know i didn't do what she wanted in foreplay, because as i said i am not an experienced guy. but even in this case it is weird for me why she didn't let me to continue.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-05-2011 01:50 AM

I agree with Pretzel,

However, this girl is seeing things as "chemistry" . You were friends, she decided that she saw you differently, sexually thought about you and therefore, wanted to go out with you...But, that "fantasy" of chemistry wasn't there when you two commenced foreplay, whether you are experienced or not, she wanted the bad boy, kick but, chemistry....

Would you really want a woman whom only saw you as "chemistry?" Isn't there the I like you, I have gotten to know you, your values, thoughts, the way you smile, laugh at my jokes, because then, even if you are in-experienced it doesn't matter because time, is what is required in a new relationship as you get to know each other, in all aspects, including sexually...You have feelings for each other so you bide your time.. A kiss is electrifying because you have feelings..

Take it slow with any woman, kissing is the key, rejecting and waiting also, because you want them to fall for you.. I'm not telling you how to play, don't you dare get me wrong...But, if they haven't got their heart there yet, for you, if you are awkward, too hard, not sensual, not looking in her eyes, rather ,going for it, she will turn off and run.

That is what I believe happened. Including yourself, you went for trying to satisfy instead of trying to look her in the eyes, show feelings, kiss her, show feelings... just straight for it and it didn't eventuate...

Nothing wrong with that persay, I believe as I said, she went for chemistry not love..

It happens often...You have a great friend you like him, get jealous, fantasize, see him as your man, protector, lover, and then you try and it feels wrong, it's not what you are used to or want, and it wasn't the fantasy...

So to me, it happened to fast, without feelings....Or, she had expectations which was "fantasy" so again not enough feelings...

NOT your fault.

CW

**Mighty Grasshopper** · 03-05-2011 11:51 AM

She doesn't like you sexually. In my opinion you should move on. No matter how much you like her, it won't affect how she feels about you.

**david_a** · 03-06-2011 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by Mighty Grasshopper

She doesn't like you sexually. In my opinion you should move on. No matter how much you like her, it won't affect how she feels about you.

What do you mean be she doesn't like me sexually? You mean she doesn't like my physical attraction? In this case why she thought that she likes me ?
Or you mean she doesn't like what i did in "foreplay" step ?