is this the right approach?

**obnoxious** · 03-08-2011 05:50 PM

so the other day while ordering takeout, i struck up a conversation with the cashier cuz she was hot and had a hot accent (turns out she's Czech). i asked how she likes it here, how long she's lived here, is it cold in Czech Rep, etc.

after a few minutes, i wussed out of asking for her number, but came back a couple hours later to grab a coffee since i was feeling tired.

on the way out, i said to her "if i asked you for your number, would you give it to me?"

she says "i don't think so...i have a BF" after which i just said good night and bounced.

was this "too quick"? was it maybe the fact that i glanced her her chest a couple of times? i wasn't staring or drooling, but she put them out there and i obliged with a couple of glances...

just needed a lady's opinoin here.

**LILYBET** · 03-08-2011 07:53 PM

You did great, when you give women too much attention, you start looking desperate. You want to let her know that you are interested but if she seems distance, its better to move on.

**Hopeless Dork** · 03-08-2011 08:07 PM

A hot woman gets asked out frequently, a hot woman in the service industry (waitresses, bartenders, cashiers, etc) get asked out CONSTANTLY so just asking for a number usually isn't enough in those situations to set you apart from the other 10 guys that asked for her number that day. Build a rapport with a woman for a few visits, flirt, make her smile/laugh.. don't push it... if she gives off an interested vibe.. THEN ask for her number.

**stressed** · 03-11-2011 07:11 AM

I think she really does have a boyfriend, so skip it... too much effort over looks is a wasted effort...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-11-2011 02:07 PM

I personally have a pet peeve at men staring at my breasts

I often walk with David and a guy looks at my face and then straight down to my boobs to which I comment "what is it with men?"....and he laughs...

I see it as, sexual naturally, you don't know me, all you are interested in is the beast of a man

If I had a conversation with you, thought you were cute, was single and then you came back two hours later, asked for my phone number and stared at my boobs, I'd be thinking "I'm not your booty call"....And, I'd use that excuse, however, I tend to think as she is European and they tend to be very loyal people, that she was telling you the truth...

I would avoid the boob thing in future

And, never turn and walk away fast as if you lost, smile and say "what a shame, I would have loved to have gotten to know you more", and then turn and leave normally....

CW

**ItsASecret** · 03-11-2011 02:58 PM

with the cashier

was it maybe the fact that i glanced her her chest a couple of times? i wasn't staring or drooling, but she put them out there and i obliged with a couple of glances...

Maybe it is just me but since when do cashiers wear uniforms that 'put them out there'? That right there can cause an automatic "no way bud", and can cause a hot girl to figure a guy out in 2 seconds and lie about having a bf just to keep him away. Just putting that out there.

**stressed** · 03-11-2011 04:24 PM

Some times it's impossible to avoid looking at breasts when "they're out there" or within clothes 2 size smaller/very tight. Even I can't avoid looking and I'm not sexually interested in women, it's more of a "are you serious" or "and you show them to me because?" reaction for me.

**Hopeless Dork** · 03-11-2011 11:56 PM

If a guy asks you out or asks for your number without having had at least a couple of (even short) conversation exchanges... you don't know ANYTHING about him -- he could be boring as a box of rocks, a potential serial killer, etc... and you know right off the bat he is interested in you based on NOTHING but how you look -- which is how almost everyone is first attracted, but there has got to be a build on that... even a few flirty comments tossed back and forth, some small talk... something that lets you show your personality and see the other persons as well.

And like CW says, you don't have to run off like you committed a crime... just say 'lucky guy' when a woman says she has a boyfriend... if she really has one, she doesn't deserve to have to feel bad about being a good honest girlfriend that doesn't give her number out.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 03-14-2011 09:01 AM

We all look...it's human nature. But if you're interested in a woman, learn how to be discreet when looking. Most women want a man to look at their face, to make eye contact, etc. Though it might be a smidge flattering if someone checks out your tata's, it can just as easily turn into feeling creepy or a turn off where you feel like an object.

We want to be looked out, in our faces. We want someone to think our face is beautiful. We want someone to look us in the eyes. If a guy walks up having just seen a girl once and asks for her number, she can almost know with 100% certainty he's only doing so because of the way she looks. Like HD said, next time in that kind of setting, try going in a few times (not in the same day of course but throughout a week or so), be friendly and talkative with her, feel her out a bit, then if you're still interested, make a move. If she declines, it doesn't mean you did it wrong, it most likely means either A. she's taken or B. she's not feeling that same attraction with you.