learning to date

**AnastasiaRose** · 03-16-2011 03:14 PM

I'm not sure what to do - I'm 24 and i'm "inexpierenced" when I was 16 I dated the first guy who hurt me and after that I've always been very shy, anti-social, embararassed that i still live with my mom, picky, afraid of getting hurt to let someone else in.

When I was 22, I had a one night stand with someone and basically didn't want me becuase i'm inexpierenced.

6 months later at 23, I finally started dating my second guy and he hurt me as well giving me chlamydia and getting another girl pregnant behind my back leading me on but was only using me for a piece of he said I was boring and cared too much about details but the problem is i didn't know what too talk about and I also got too attached to him which scared me away but he basically didnt want me for those reasons and I am also a starfish.

I think i've gotten involved with the wrong people but I have no sex drive I've been on depo provera since I was 16 and it didn't bother me and now its starting to be embarassing and has destroyed relationships for me. I don't know anything about sex what to do, how to masturbate, how to orgasm, how to cum etc. what should I do? The thought of sex scares me because im not into it like my friends are. Whats wrong with me?

I have been taken advantage of before in the past and that's also something I have had to overcome. I haven't date much before because i'm not good at it for the reasons I mentioned above but I want to learn now I understand what i did wrong (being attached, not being social and caring too much about details, being good at sex) but to me those were minor issues that could have changed I just need to make sure I won't repeat myself with the next guy.

I don't really go to bars and don't like picking up randoms and haven't met that many people through friends so how do I go about meeting someone? I need some to be patient, someone who won't hurt me.

I feel I need to date a bit until i find the one but I can only date 1 person at once and if I don't like them move on to the next person. I need advice on dating where to begin, advice on sex. What should someone in my situation do? I'm a FT university student so i don't have much time/money. I feel my bad expierences have made me hate men but Im ready to let that go and realize that not everyone is perfect and sometimes bad things happen to good people.

I get attached easily is there a way to prevent that? what should i do differently next time?

**jns** · 03-16-2011 09:45 PM

Start by learning about your body and becoming comfortable with it. Confidence is good an is also sexy. Browse various boards and threads here. Maybe try http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...-thinking.html

**rcoreyus** · 03-17-2011 12:17 AM

I think its important to have friends (including male friends) before you date. Get to know people socially before you become romantically involved. Then work on your self-confidence. I think some abusive men can recognize insecure women (I don't know how, and it would be very important to know), and you don't want to look like a target

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-20-2011 03:36 PM

It is a self confidence thing... "People take advantage of People"... If you are vulnerable, that comes out in your words, actions and so the Lion pounces.

Make a list of what you want out of a man...Not looks, height, money, rather inside, the person inside and morals, some compatibility, respect, that type of list...take your time on the dating scene and gage their personality, do they have those things? If you "think" they do that's not good enough, you want to "know"that they do...keep dating them no matter if it's 6 dates, 10...until you know them for themselves, their true selves, then and only then allow them into your space sexually....

Chances are some will go after 2 or 3 dates, do not think that they didn't like you. Either they were not compatible or they only wanted sex and it's those types that you have had, that have hurt you, because you get emotionally attached very quickly, probably as you let them into your space.

Don't talk down about yourself, or your experiences, talk about you, the real you who you are, where you are heading in life, what you like to do, .........don't show your past, your vulnerability....

CW