Need To Tell My Mother :/

**Alex2195** · 03-17-2011 12:50 PM

I gave my boyfriend a blowjob and my dad found out and I told my sister but they are just mad and won't help me at all :/ We've been dating for 7 months and I don't regret giving the blowjob, even though it was the quickest thing in the world, but I want to tell my mother because my dad can't hold it in any longer and I feel I should tell her myself...I don't know how to tell her...I feel I should tell her by telling her that I need to talk to her as a friend but I don't know...HELP???

**Mes T** · 03-17-2011 01:15 PM

... WHY is your dad involved in this? How old are you? Sounds to me like you were perfectly safe with your partner but were just fooling around. What's the harm in that, and why is it any of your parents' business in the first place?

**Alex2195** · 03-17-2011 01:27 PM

He read my text messages. Also, I am 16 years old. It wasn't their business, but it really bothered my dad and he really wants to tell my mom because she's been questioning recently and he's had to lie to her...

**Beautiful Disaster** · 03-17-2011 02:01 PM

Well, I mean you can't lie about it now cause your dad knows. I can see where it upsets him and probably worries him that more will happen....then a whole new set of worries comes into play: std's, pregnancy......

Ya got caught........all you can do at this point is be honest about it and try to make very VERY responsible choices in the future.

**Alex2195** · 03-17-2011 02:21 PM

Thank you and yeah, we talked about it and realized that we had to slow down and such. It was a very hard week and things got a little bit out of hand, but we know we have to be EXTREMELY responsible since we both have huge plans for the future. But I just don't know how to tell my mother

I just don't want my mother to judge me.

**Mes T** · 03-17-2011 02:40 PM

I can see where your parents might be coming from, and I think that most of their fears would probably come from them assuming that YOU don't know anything about things related to sex. If you could tell your mom about this and then follow up with all the things you know about sexual safety, then that might let her know that you are growing into a responsible adult and won't turn out to be one of those single pregnant teens that has to drop out of high school.

(Do some research on safe sex before having this conversation!)

Also, for the record, I don't think you did anything wrong. Lots of teens do this sort of thing. If you had had intercourse without using any protection, on the other hand, THAT would be cause to worry.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-17-2011 02:41 PM

The above statement if said to me as a Mother, I'd feel that I had done all the right things, in the way I bought you up.

She will more than likely feel that he may be pressuring for more and if your Father has cut corners for you, then he is not looking down on you, judging you..so he will back that.

I would probably sit them down together, seeing as he knows, without stating you got caught out by your Dad....

And, I would tell them you want them to know you are a responsible teenager, you respect all that they have taught you, you see a future with your now boyfriend, however, you intend to wait, and he does too.. You want them to know that when the day comes that you don't wait, you understand the responsibilities that come with that, and that naturally, you have tried a couple of safe things in experimentation and then you say to which mum if I have any questions I'd like to be able to feel as a friend I can come and talk to you about it, with guidance as a Mum but friendship as your thoughts, or ideas on it.....

I love you both ....and stand up and hug them and walk away.

CW

**WildChild** · 03-17-2011 02:48 PM

Every family is different, tis hard to know how yours might react. It may not be as big a deal as you think but then it may be a bigger deal than we think. As a parent with children older than you are to me it wouldn't be a big deal. My concerns would be your health and contraception. After that I'd probably be offering books on developing skills. But that's just me.

**Alex2195** · 03-17-2011 02:56 PM

Thank you so much

I really think that gives me a good idea on how to present it. I mean...I understand that what I want to tell my mother is not the thing every mother wants to hear. But, like said in the above comment, I don't want to be afraid to tell my mother things. I also want her to understand that my boyfriend isn't pressuring me into ANYTHING. Which is why I do not regret the act, but I regret the way my father found out. Thank you again for helping me out and I hope everything turns out well. Thank you!

**Seeker_Advice** · 03-18-2011 02:34 PM

NEVER lose sight of the fact that your parents love you more then they can probably put into words, and frankly, until you decide to become a parent, you may not understand the love a parent has for a child.

That being said, there may be tears, brief anger, a look of shock, disappointment, etc. Regardless, you made a mature decision to act on a sexual desire with a young man you care about. Now it's time to act in a similar mature manner and discuss it openly and honestly with the two people who love you more than you know...your parents.

You appear to be a mature young woman with goals, hopes and dreams for YOUR future. You need to remind your parents that NOTHING is going to mess those up.

Delete your text messages more often too.

(The advice of a father of a beautiful daughter, who just happens to be about your age).