just wanted to share..i broke up with that guy..

**ayushi daswani14** · 03-24-2011 02:45 AM

well...considering all the unfair things that happened to me..in this relationship.. and all that you people said..i decided maybe it is better to make a move...this time when we had a fight well i can say it was my mistake ..i was not happy with his trip out with his friends..maybe because this was his 1st trip with his college friends.. or maybe because when i 1st showed resentment for the trip..and for some other reasons he cancelled his trip he always portrayed as if he did it for me..and when suddenly all the other reasons fell in place he said he is going and i got annoyed..and then he said since the day he is there in his college ..i have been questioning and inquiring.. i mean i never distrusted him..just when a few rumors started about him and a friend of his maybe because he was a lot of time with her in the college..i lost my blind faith on him...it was he himself who told me everything feeling guilty that maybe he gave wrong hints to the girl she fell for him and then rumors started..
so he pointed out i am being over possessive.. and i accepted my mistake..and i apologized and asked him to come back..he said "we fight too much..i dont want to be with you.. you disrespected me by questioning me all the time.."...i was all quiet and i wanted to make up for the situation..but then something happened..he lost his temper.. AND WENT ON TO ABUSE ME...not once but a lot of times...i even thought he was angry maybe..and said that i dont wanna llive without him..and to my surprise he actually said.."I KNOW YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT ME..BUT I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU..U'LL LOSE YOUR EMOTIONAL STABILITY MAYBE YOU'LL GO HALF MAD..BUT FIGHTING LIKE THIS I WILL LOSE MINE AND I CHOOSE MYSELF.. he said i know u will never find a guy like me..u may die without me..but i dont care..( ...he knows i have my exams the most imp exams of my life just in 15days..i have been working hard for them since last 3 yrs.)..i wanted him back but considering how he just thinks i cant live without him he is taking me for granted ..i thought maybe i shouldnt go back to him...am i wrong?

ps : the reason why i know getting out of him would be difficult is maybe because..he is the first guy i ever kissed.. made love with..had sex with.. and m so deeply madly attached to him his touch his hugs and everything
and perhaps he knows all this..

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-24-2011 03:44 AM

He said:-

we fight too much..i dont want to be with you.. you disrespected me by questioning me all the time.."...

He said:-

I KNOW YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT ME..BUT I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU..U'LL LOSE YOUR EMOTIONAL STABILITY MAYBE YOU'LL GO HALF MAD..BUT FIGHTING LIKE THIS I WILL LOSE MINE AND I CHOOSE MYSELF.. he said i know u will never find a guy like me..u may die without me..but i dont care..(

If you push someone to the limit and fighting is all the way? They will say I don't care, anymore.... If he thinks as you do? She can't live without me? You can't live without him he knows? He will make that statement...

Yes though you will find another guy like him and better.... you won't die even if you have told him that which you stated you would or else he wouldn't state that.

I think you're pushing him to the limit... Acting posessive, in-secure and he's had enough and you show your love or you'll die if he left...

Why are you feeling so insecure?

First sex, love doesn't mean that he is the man for the rest of your life or that you own him, possess him and try to prove that and that he can't live.....

**ayushi daswani14** · 03-24-2011 05:32 AM

we have a long distance relationship..i always had a blind faith on him..until the day i caught a few texts in his cell phone of a girl..who was his friend but every now and then she was texting..i love you baby..he was with me..and i saw TEXTs where she wrote he isnt there in the college so she is missing him bad..and i asked him where this friendship is going?..he said sorry and said he was just lonely there so started to talk a lot with this girl in the college.. she makes him feel special in the college..and just went on say such sugary sweet things about her.. he said he started to develop dependency on her ..i asked him only one question..WHAT IF I DO THIS IN MY COLLEGE.. WILL YOU BE FINE..?..he said he would leave me if he finds me accepting such texts..and after that he corrected his steps...
but yes after all this i lost my "blind" faith on him..i find his cell busy sometimes i ask him who was he talking to..and when he goes to a party at times i ask him whose party it is..i see his facebook profile and all..then keep asking him about his colllege people...earlier he never found it offensive.. but now he does...while he has a problem with me picking up any guys call when it is not very important..with me having an account on facebook.. with me going out with friends in parties where my friends are people he doesnt knows...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-27-2011 03:24 PM

He can't have his cake and eat it too...

Your relationship I think is at it's end, you say you broke up with him in your Title, I think that's the best thing because he is texting another girl and in more than a flirty way and he has stated he "needs her"...

Yet he wants to act possessive over you, and your possessiveness is in-security, his is control... If he can't have you no one else will, as he projects that thought pattern into your brain so you stay whilst he plays...

Focus on you....

**WildChild** · 03-27-2011 05:41 PM

Study.
Do your best ever on those exams. This is for YOU and your future.
When you have graduated and created the life you want for yourself, then you can find a man who will the icing on the cake and not the main course.

**Mighty Grasshopper** · 03-27-2011 07:47 PM

Glad you guys broke up. Draw the line and let's move forward.

**Hopeless Dork** · 03-27-2011 08:13 PM

This relationship is not healthy. All this 'you'll not live with out me' stuff is juvenile... you'll live just fine without him... and hun, when you start college and over the summer before so, you will be growing up so much... changing as a woman and this relationship -- despite all the love you have in your heart for him being your first -- will fade into a fond memory/learning experience. It doesn't feel like that now, nope, not when you are in the thick of the heartache... but the more time passes, the more you stay busy with your life, school, friends, family, other interests... the easier that time will pass and that pain WILL heal.

You are , in my opinion, in love with the idea of being in love with him -- his hugs, his touch, the fact that he's your first... but what about who he is as a man and how he treats you... the words he used were not ones of love, but ones of disrespect, hurtful things... he's admitted to using women out there due to lonliness -- so that he can feel 'special'... well, you deserve to feel special too.

I hope you can take away from this experience that you can't keep pushing someone into a corner... either someone wants to be with you or they don't... if they are drifting away from you... stomping your feet and searching their phone and accusing them is NOT going to be what reels them back in and makes them closer to you -- in fact it will surely lead to the opposite of that.

Love is only real when a person gives it truly, because its what they want to do... not because someone is making it impossible for them to do anything else BUT love them, that is emotional warfare... and while it may work for a while, give you false sense of security in thinking he wont dare step out of line or face your wrath... in the end you have a situation where you are not able to trust... because you had to force them to behave in a way that makes you believe... instead of just looking at how they treat you and knowing you are safe from harm.

There are no gaurenees to any relationship -- neither of you owes either of you anything. Relationships (even marriages) are 'at will' agreements... when either party is ready to move on, the other has no choice but to accept that and let the other go -- how good would it feel to hold on a to a man that doesn't want you holding him anyway? It wouldn't feel good.

In time you will feel so much better about this, the pain will fade, you will get passed this... and you will be happier and stronger for it.

**ayushi daswani14** · 03-29-2011 02:12 AM

you people are right..u know what actually happened..2days after the fight and stuff... somehow from his cousin his dad found out he was dating a girl and stuff.. and he is very conservative.. n the guy is doing his college so he is completely dependent on his father.. plus he has always been way to obedient...so his father said he doesnt want his son to be into anything like this and all such things...
the next day he called me up saying that he broke up with me in anger..he loves me truly ..but his father has told me.."i get to hear anything regarding you getting involved with any girl or something..you wont be my son"
and so..this guy said we might not have a future..and i was like..as such there was no thought of resuming the relationship in my mind..but i told him..if not today..please someday..grow up and stand like a man in front of your parents for a girl you made a million of promises to..i mean for god sake..either dont go on to make promises ..or be a man of your words..and take a stand that you chose this gurl..and she is the right one for you ..i dont mean to go against your parents..but you have to convince them for the girl you love.. fine you are 19..so not today..but even i am 18..and i always knew once am independent i would win my parents confidence to a point that they would trust my decisions and take a stand for the guy whom i wanna see as my man tomorrow..
after all this i said ..the other day..he comes up to me saying.."will you be with me if i cant promise you anything about the future.. i cant live without you ..i was so wrong.. come back to me.. "..
i said no..
i mean...this is what i should have done right..?

**ayushi daswani14** · 03-29-2011 02:12 AM

you people are right..u know what actually happened..2days after the fight and stuff... somehow from his cousin his dad found out he was dating a girl and stuff.. and he is very conservative.. n the guy is doing his college so he is completely dependent on his father.. plus he has always been way to obedient...so his father said he doesnt want his son to be into anything like this and all such things...
the next day he called me up saying that he broke up with me in anger..he loves me truly ..but his father has told me.."i get to hear anything regarding you getting involved with any girl or something..you wont be my son"
and so..this guy said we might not have a future..and i was like..as such there was no thought of resuming the relationship in my mind..but i told him..if not today..please someday..grow up and stand like a man in front of your parents for a girl you made a million of promises to..i mean for god sake..either dont go on to make promises ..or be a man of your words..and take a stand that you chose this gurl..and she is the right one for you ..i dont mean to go against your parents..but you have to convince them for the girl you love.. fine you are 19..so not today..but even i am 18..and i always knew once am independent i would win my parents confidence to a point that they would trust my decisions and take a stand for the guy whom i wanna see as my man tomorrow..
after all this i said ..the other day..he comes up to me saying.."will you be with me if i cant promise you anything about the future.. i cant live without you ..i was so wrong.. come back to me.. "..
i said no..
i mean...this is what i should have done right..?

**ayushi daswani14** · 03-29-2011 02:27 AM

n CW...
yes it totally frustrating to hear him say all this.. he was guilty too ...he never texted her back with such "love you " msgs.. but his constantly being for her when she is upset and too much conversations with her gave her wrong hints..especially when she he was committed..and what hurts me the most is...he couldn't see all this until i pointed it all..and i wont be always there around him to do this..he cried..he said sorry...i forgave... but now i couldn't trust him blindly like before..