still confused :(

**bigbrownie** · 03-25-2011 07:37 PM

Okay if you didn't read my last post or don't remember it I'll say it again. I'm 13 and I have a boyfriend. We've dated for over 5 months and we've never really connected. We hardly ever hold hands or hug. I haven't kissed him yet and when we walk in the halls together we hardly say a word to each other. I don't believe in the girl making the first move but I still want my relationship to go a bit farther. I have been making an more of an effort lately after taking the advise people gave me last time but it doesn't seem to be working. The only time we can really seem to talk is over texting but he doesn't have unlimited text and he has to buy his own minutes and I don't want to waste them for him. He sometimes uses his mom's phone to text but not very often and i don't want to say how i feel when he's using his mom's phone in case she reads the message. I just want to...i don't know... maybe talk to him more and I feel like we're more like friends right now then boyfriend and girlfriend but i want to be more then that. I think I love him but I don't know how to tell him and i don't know if feel he feels the same way. I've never felt this way about a guy before. i don't know what to do. i know his friend has been trying to get him to do more but he won't listen to him. What should I do?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-25-2011 09:28 PM

I guess does he see you as a girlfriend?

It seems that if he hardly ever holds hands or hugs, then maybe he's not sure exactly how you feel, really...seeing as you haven't kissed yet either.
ex
Maybe sweet, he's not listening to his friend through not wanting to be rejected ...

Nothing wrong with a girl saying how she feels, like, it's time you were my proper boyfriend, I'd like to take it past the friendship part and be able to say, you are my boyfriend...

CW

**stressed** · 03-27-2011 08:17 AM

You should tell him or show him you are interested in him. He could be scared, unsure, afraid of being turned down. There's nothing wrong with you telling him how you feel, it's not a "man's job"

**Claret** · 03-27-2011 08:30 AM

You say you are 13 but you don't say how old he is. Maybe, if he's roughly the same age as you, he's shy. At this age I wouldn't think he (or you for that matter) have much experience in dating or relationships. What is it you'd like him to talk about? Conversations should be about many things that interest both persons. Does he just see you as a friend, is he someone you've know for a long time? Is there a movie or a dance or something coming up that you'd like to go to or see? If so, then would be the perfect opportunity to ask him to go with you. This is 2011. It's not as if a girl can't ask a guy out. In fact, I believe most guys would appreciate having someone ask them out. Normally, it's the guys that do most of the asking and thereby taking the chances of being turned down. Take a chance yourself -- ask him to go somewhere other than walking the halls at school. Find something fun to do where there is no pressure on being a couple. In this way, there are no unrealistic expectations and no-one's feelings would get hurt if the holding hands didn't necessarily turn into a kiss. Take it slow - you've lots of time.