Is something wrong with obsessing over interracial relationships?

**collegegirl2010** · 03-31-2011 02:57 PM

Is something wrong with obsessing over being(wanting to be) in a interracial relationship? Or thinking about it often? Most men/guys I find attractive usually are white. There are very few black guys I find attractive. Is that a bad thing?

**Maximus** · 03-31-2011 03:48 PM

Good, wrong are judgments. From the moment you will see the person beyond the color you will discover another dimension.
Depending on where you live the probabilities for you to meet a person of your ethnic group can vary from low to high.

Sometimes, and depending on our own personal history, we can be more demanding towards our own ethnic group.
In an attempt to overturn all the little things we saw in the men of our own race, and think they do not exist elsewhere.

There is surely material for self discovery...

**Maximus** · 03-31-2011 03:48 PM

...double post...

**rcoreyus** · 03-31-2011 05:52 PM

People are free to be attracted to whatever sort of people they wish. Tall, short, black, white, muscular, etc - you like what you like. Fortunately there is lots of variation in what people like so almost everyone is attractive to some people.

So - if you happen to be attracted to white men, thats fine. If you change your mind later, thats fine too.

**stressed** · 04-01-2011 01:05 AM

I remember you posting the same question before

No, it's not a bad thing, as long as you don't ignore people of the same race who may be a really good match for you (race doesn't make the compatibility).

**collegegirl2010** · 04-01-2011 07:56 PM

Originally Posted by stressed

I remember you posting the same question before

No, it's not a bad thing, as long as you don't ignore people of the same race who may be a really good match for you (race doesn't make the compatibility).

Thanks...and I was just asking because someone said I was obsessing just because I said I find white men more attractive. And I do find some men of my race attractive, but most of the ones I meet don't have the personality traits I like, or what I find as being sweet or kindhearted. I know this can happen with any man, but I'm just saying I do find some black men attractive, just not the ones I see/meet everyday here where I live because of their attitudes.

**stressed** · 04-02-2011 02:05 AM

Nope, I wouldn't say you're obsessing at all. You can have a "preference" or find a certain kind of man more attractive than another, but as long as you're open minded and know what you want in a man regardless of his race it's not an obsession.

Like, I find blond/blue eyed men very attractive (mostly because I'm from a country where blond/blue eyed men are very rare to find) but so far most of my relationships have been with dark/brown haired/eyed guys and I didn't think about my "preference" while I was with them. It has more to do with compatibility in other areas.

**jns** · 04-02-2011 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by collegegirl2010

Thanks...and I was just asking because someone said I was obsessing just because I said I find white men more attractive. And I do find some men of my race attractive, but most of the ones I meet don't have the personality traits I like, or what I find as being sweet or kindhearted. I know this can happen with any man, but I'm just saying I do find some black men attractive, just not the ones I see/meet everyday here where I live because of their attitudes.

You have hit on the keys of personality traits. Anyone of any race can have good personality traits, but that doesn't mean in a limited pool of guys that most of a specific race or ethnicity will have the traits you find attractive. Over time you may notice that most of the guys you like come from a specific group. At the same time analyze what traits the guys you have dated have. Don't put on rose colored glasses and assume anyone has such traits because they are from a grouping that you found to have good traits. Everyone is an individual and they may or may not have good traits.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-02-2011 03:17 PM

When I was young I hung around a group of Italian girls...Off course they had brothers

It struck me that, I liked the "European" way of life, the way the Mother tended to them all, the way they all interacted and the way the boys protected their sisters..

I claimed that I would definately be marrying an Italian

First boyfriend was Greek, same thing, sort off

But strange as I got to know them more I realised they were spoilt wrotten by Mum, all of them and they were allowed to go out with who ever they wanted, just expected to make the family proud with whom they married, and that meant same race...

I have been engaged to a half Indian/half English, a Greek man, a half German, half Australian and now half English/half Australian....

So, I think a touch of European background as I have that too, seemed to appeal, to me but it was more of the I couldn't marry a "Gday mate" type person who had no passions, drive....

Point being, it's is as JNS stated, more of the traits you see but that may change like it did for me, as you get older..as you see it's the actual person and where they were born is not relevant.

CW

**collegegirl2010** · 04-05-2011 04:01 PM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

When I was young I hung around a group of Italian girls...Off course they had brothers

It struck me that, I liked the "European" way of life, the way the Mother tended to them all, the way they all interacted and the way the boys protected their sisters..

I claimed that I would definately be marrying an Italian

First boyfriend was Greek, same thing, sort off

But strange as I got to know them more I realised they were spoilt wrotten by Mum, all of them and they were allowed to go out with who ever they wanted, just expected to make the family proud with whom they married, and that meant same race...

I have been engaged to a half Indian/half English, a Greek man, a half German, half Australian and now half English/half Australian....

So, I think a touch of European background as I have that too, seemed to appeal, to me but it was more of the I couldn't marry a "Gday mate" type person who had no passions, drive....

Point being, it's is as JNS stated, more of the traits you see but that may change like it did for me, as you get older..as you see it's the actual person and where they were born is not relevant.

CW

You make a good point, I guess I'm just influenced by the wrong type of guys, period. Maybe I should get out more.