Dating Advice PLEASE

**JustAnObserver** · 04-28-2011 05:39 AM

I met a guy online and in the last 6 weeks we have been out several times. In the first week after our initial meeting we went out 4 times. For the first couple of weeks he was calling almost daily.

That has slowed somewhat and in the last month we have been out twice. I called to ask him out for the first of these two occasions and the second was a planned event from our initial meeting. We went to the football.

He has let me know over recent weeks that he's busy at work and apologised once for the lack of calls.

When I see him we get along well, he's flirty and kisses me passionately and is a gentleman all the way. When I last saw him a few days ago we had a great time, lots of fun and he flirted a lot.

No reference was made by either of us to our relationship (such as it is)

I have been invited today to the wedding of my ex. It's in two weeks.

Is it appropriate to ask this guy to the wedding? Is that too much given the level of involvement so far? Am I better off taking a girlfriend?

Also, is it best to just let things happen with this guy or do I need to pursue him?

I want to get to know him, he's cute and we get along.

**sungoddesschelsy** · 04-29-2011 03:15 PM

Tough call... Personally, I'd casually bring it up in conversation saying you were invited but don't know who to bring. If he asks details then invite him, if he doesn't then you'll know he isn't ready for that yet.

**JustAnObserver** · 04-30-2011 03:04 AM

That was my plan, but is it ok to call to ask? Should I wait for him to call?

**ren_07** · 04-30-2011 02:31 PM

I mean chances are if something feels a bit off and you're not completely comfortable with him yet, you should let him get back to you with things more than usual. That may be hard to do, but when a guy is interested in you, he'll make the effort. How did you meet online?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-30-2011 04:29 PM

I agree with if a man is interested he'll find the way to contact you, you may have to attend the wedding alone or with a male friend.

If you met him on a on-line dating site, he may be casually dating more than just you as well, waying up things, that's why you join those sites, unless you always "settle" for the person you first meet...You've heard of curiosity killed the cat, let him wonder how you are, what you are doing and call you....You are still in the dating phase.

I think that I would as a male whom has just started dating for a short period of time, feel that you want a relationship, if you asked me to a wedding

And that may scare him off ...

You want the Lion? Sit back....If he doesn't come to you then the feelings weren't mutual....

CW

**JustAnObserver** · 04-30-2011 07:27 PM

We met on a dating site. I sent a kiss and he replied, so I sent an email. I didn't reply for a couple of weeks and then after a couple of emails he gave me his number. I didn't contact him for a while though.

As it turns out my podiatrist knows him, they work in the same suburb. She did some research for me, spoke to some people and the feedback was good. He's had only serious relationships.

I have a good feeling, so I want to get to know him. I'm not one to date several people at once. And I understand that he may be, I understand that he doesn't owe me anything.

I have decided that he's not the right person to take to this wedding.

**JustAnObserver** · 04-30-2011 07:36 PM

Thanks CW :-)

It's clear to me that we're attracted to one another. His kisses tell me a lot and he's not sleazy, he's not pushing for anything.

I don't get the quiet time from one date to the next, when my instincts tell me that he's interested.

I've met and dated a few men off dating sites and this one is different. I am quite a fussy person, I won't settle for 2nd best, so right now being patient is testing me :-)

**ren_07** · 04-30-2011 07:51 PM

Okay, I was just making sure it was a dating website because from what I've seen, a guy who's looking for a relationship won't go through the effort of courting you and using such a website in the first place. I'd say it's pretty positive right now

so keep to our patience!

**caterpillar79** · 04-30-2011 09:22 PM

Been there, done that online dating thing. I was once like you - do not date others "at the same time". I was so patient with this one guy who was great at first but since he knew I am not "out there" anymore after we met, he took me for granted (not that your man would do the same to you). What I'm trying to say is that do not put your egg in one basket, no NOT YET. You both are just dating he has not showed you any sign of commitment yet nor of pursuing you. Even if you really like him and you think the feeling is mutual, it might not be.

Sorry to burst your bubble, dear, but this is not to time for you to concentrate on him. Definitely get somebody to bring with you to the wedding but him. Keep your patience (on him), but while doing so, let him know that you are "in demand". Go out - if not with other dates, with girlfriends or just yourself. Enjoy a new hobby and be busy. Do not be always available for him and please refrain from calling him. You think I am old fashioned, but that is how you know if he really is into you. Let him do the work and make your price tag higher! Best to you, dear.