Thread: Can't get over this hurdle..

Thank you all for the advice. I really appreciate it. I would not JUDGE him on his past persay. I know that people can change and I care about who he is NOW, with me. I just feel like knowing his past will give me insight on who he is. The things that he regrets and/or has "changed" from is not things I would judge him by. But if for example he is *still* the type who is into one-night stands, I don't think I could be with him.. And I'd like to know that before I get TOO involved with him..

Originally Posted by miffed23

I too dont think that seven is an amount to be concerned about, I think it worries you because its a difference to the one sexual partner that you have had. We're all different. Try not to think ahead, just go with the flow...when something comes up that reminds you of it, push it aside, get to know him as he is now, not in the past. How did the topic come into conversation by the way, its just that i dont think that it is something that i would want to know so early on However, you say that youre a sentimental person and i get the impression that you like to have a bit of plan, there is nothing wrong with that, infact it is quite sensible, but dont let it overtake the present moments.

If it still is a real issue when you start progressing within the relationship then maybe you should readdress it then, you'll be more comfortable with each other so it wouldnt hurt to talk to him about it, he'd probably put your mind at rest if he's a good guy

The reason it came up so early on is cause I knew it would be an issue for me so I wanted to "get it out of the way" so to speak.. But I think you're right about rather enjoying the present and IF it's still and issue later on, it will be easier to talk about it then.

I used to feel this way too, but once I lost that serious relationship and went back into the dating scene, I found my own sexual number slowly climbing as I tried to connect with men both sexually and emotionally, then it wouldn't work out. It's not exactly his fault or him being a "man" or something I'm willing to bet. Relationships progress both emotionally and sexually, but they don't always work out in the end and you wind up with another notch in your belt. It doesn't mean he's sleeping around for fun or not taking it seriously. I'm sure when he genuinely cares/likes someone, it's not at all about the sex. He's making it clear to you that he's had feelings for girls he's slept with but also was probably moving too fast with others and it turned into just fun times when they weren't clicking as fast mentally/emotionally. Make sense?