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Thread: Please help

  1. 05-01-2011 04:36 AM #1
    confusedbuthappy
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    Default Please help

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    I am a 28 year old divorcee...and i have this huge crush on this guy- who is my gym trainer btw. He is 25 and i have known him since Jan, recently he told me that he has a girlfriend. However he asked me out(as friends) We landed up getting drunk and making out. I was embarrassed but he just acted like nothing happened when we met the next time. We went out a couple of times after that but nothing happened.Finally last night we went out and he claimed that he had no place to go and so could i stay with him at the hotel(He cannot stay at my place) We stayed, we kissed and there was some heavy petting finally when we went almost all the way I said that im uncomfortable with it- and he stopped!!(Though we were both drunk)
    I woke up this morning with him cuddling me and kissing me at the nape of the neck- but he didnt do anything else- though I was practically half naked!!!
    I have to add that he hardly ever calls me, barely talks to me at the gym( though he does wink or smile) . he does borrow money from me- but always pays back ... I really like him and am strongly attracted to him . Does he like me?
    Last edited by confusedbuthappy; 05-01-2011 at 04:38 AM.
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  2. 05-01-2011 04:58 AM #2
    spurzzz
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    Hello, welcome to WH:

    I am a Male and I go to the gym, I also know a few gym instructors soooo I guess I can make a valuable point.

    First of all, what is it that you are after with this guy? If it is a relationship then I would think twice about that....he has proven he cannot be trusted because he has cheated on his girlfriend with you......do not fall into the trap that your different and he is into you...........gym trainers go through hundreads of beautiful women every year and it will not be long before he is borrowing money from someone else if you catch my drift

    Does he like you?

    "he hardly ever calls me, barely talks to me at the gym" ---------------------- "he does borrow money from me"

    That says it all.....No he doesn't like you. He seems to be using you for an ego boost while focusing his attention on other areas of his life, like his girlfriend?

    Stop giving this guy attention and a massage everytime he wants one......don't be second best to no-one! Go get some warranted attention from someone else who will give you what you want. Your in a gym for crying out loud!!!! How many hot guys are in there????
    I am going to tell you what you don't want to hear!
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  3. 05-01-2011 06:06 AM #3
    confusedbuthappy
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    I guess what you say makes sense....but he is just soooo soooo soooo very hot!!!!!
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  4. 05-01-2011 01:29 PM #4
    Hopeless Dork
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    Yeah... I would have to agree with spurzz.

    This guy isn't appearing all that interested in you. When a guy wants a woman... they generally go after her, so that would mean calling, texting, making up excuses to talk with you and not just wink and smile (thats more like he's pacifying you... like he doesn't want to talk to you, but doesn't want to not talk to you -- so he just does a wink to acknowledge).

    When a guy is interested in a woman, he wants to impress her... the last thing a guy trying to impress a woman would do is: borrow money from her. That is a big red flag that he may be stringing you along in attempts to use you.

    Sure he may be hot, sure, he may pay you back the money... but he could be setting you up , trying to prove how responsible he is before asking for a larger sum of money that he takes longer to pay back or simply doesn't. He's a trainer. He has the attention of women all day long, especially as hot as you say he is. I am sure he has more than you that he is flirting up enough to see what he can get from.

    If you wanted to be a sugar mama... he may be the guy for you. But if you are looking for something real... I'd leave this guy alone unless he ... displays some interest, calls, texts, breaks up with his gf, stops and actually talks to you when he see's you... and stops borrowing money from you.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
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