a very sudden and strange change?

**cmr396** · 05-05-2011 11:10 AM

I am a guy who needs women advise on what to do. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 9 months and to say the least it has been great. when we first started dating and starting the ....Honeymoon phase i hear everyone talk about we talked everyday we had alot in common, but not too perfect we had our small arguements but always got over them very quickly.

just a quick background on her.... she is a very stubborn and independant girl, she is a cna who lost her job a week into our relationship. she didnt get another one until about maybe two months ago. she had a kinda hard child hood but is very family orientated. in the time we dated i payed for most everything for her...she never asked me to she never evan really let me do it. but i did and now she pays me back.

for the first five months we had a great intimate relationship, we had lots of sex, had tons of fun just being with each other.

there was a phase were she felt like i had lost some interest in her but after a few fights about it i changed back to the way she wanted me to be, i care about this relationship, i love her, and im on here to fix it.

NOW that thats out of the way heres the deal. about a month ago it just seemed like her intimacy just took a dive, she still trys really hard to she me she loves me, and she tells me all the time but i think we have only had sex once in like a month and the way we kiss isnt the same the way we hug or the way we cuddle..... mentally our relationship is still just fine but physically it has all but died and i dont know why, i have tried talking to her and she agrees that something has changed in our relationship but swears she doesnt know why, and that she absolutely still loves me to death and in no way is dissatisfied in me her comment was

"its like my vagina just doesnt want it anymore" she said she just thinks she is going through a phase or a slump but its been almost two months and it has no sign of getting better.

now if i evan mention sex or anything close she gets irritated and fights with me about it saying i should just support her and not drive her away(now keep in mind im not like asking everyten minutes or anything like that we are talkin maybe once a week or something and its if i evan just mention it)

what is this what can i do. what should i do anything will help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Mes T** · 05-05-2011 02:22 PM

Hi cmr, welcome to the forum.

I know this is going to sound like a very fundamental question, but it's the first one I tend to ask in these cases: Does she enjoy sex to the same extent you do? Does she have an orgasm as often as you do? Are you able to have these in-depth conversations with her to find out for sure?

One very common reason women lose interest in sex is because they don't get the same enjoyment from it as their partners. They put up with this in the first stages of the relationship often to "get" the guy, and once they're secure that the man is there to stay, they no longer want to put up with sex.

Now, this could all be far from the truth for you two, I don't know. However it is SUCH a common reason that I think it's worth mentioning, if not for you then at least for anyone in the future reading this thread.

If you have a look around, you'll see that this is probably THE most common topic posted in these threads. You might find other people's threads an interesting read!

**Beautiful Disaster** · 05-06-2011 11:38 AM

Is she on hormonal bc? Is there any correlation to when she started on it and when her sex drive decreased? This is VERY common. When I was in that situation, my mind wanted to want it, but my body just didn't. I dreaded the thought of it.

**emeraldwings** · 05-07-2011 02:37 AM

perhaps your lady is tired..
whenever i'm tired and my body doesn't even wanna try doing it.

being a cna is a tough job, lifting patients, and taking care of them and such. i'm not one, but i hear stories with what they do and how hard it is.

sometimes not doing it for a while will make her want it.
try not to ask her either cause if her body won't even do it, just let it be.
i'm sure it will want it later on.

good luck

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-08-2011 04:06 AM

there was a phase were she felt like i had lost some interest in her but after a few fights about it i changed back to the way she wanted me to be, i care about this relationship, i love her, and im on here to fix it.

Tell us about this part more...

She may have shut herself off, not believing you and not wanting to give her heart....