I don't get flowers (or pressies for christmas) anymore on special occasions, birthdays or otherwise, and its wrecking my relationship. I can't get over it. Its actually not such a big deal if I were to receive them. But not having received them for so long - suddenly its become the deal breaker.

But I think Female Prodigy is absolutely right. The crux of the problem is that I certainly do not feel appreciated or cared for by him. Other posters are right too, if the lack of cards, pressies and flowers was made up for in other ways - if he had gone out of his way to do something special for me, this wouldn't really have become an issue.

But Female Prodigy - I have tried to speak to him and hint and tell him that its important to me. And I get the impression that he is actually resistant to it. I am beginning to think this is passive-aggression.

All I know is that I am miserable, and that I see myself in a relationship where I am doing all the giving and he is doing all the taking. To the extent that whilst I am supporting him financially he can nevertheless still make demands for holidays abroad (to please his mother who will be with us throughout), insist on my financing his hair brained financial investments, and to top it off, he now doesn't even know how to thank me for the things I do for him! - even claims full credit for things I have done to help him!

And now, I feel trapped because of the children.