Thread: How do I fix us?

So My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two and a half years. We started dating in high school, and have continued through my first year of college (he's a year younger). We hit some rocks when I first left for college, which was about forty-five minutes away from him, but we were going strong soon after we got used to the transition. Well, a few months ago I had to leave my dream school because of some financial stuff, and I was completely devastated. He stayed by my side and tried to cheer me up, but I ended up getting depressed. Now I feel bad all the time about everything, and he sort of tries to understand, but it seems like he ignores it anymore. I feel like we're growing apart. He's getting ready to go to his own university at the end of the summer, and he's very stressed. Whenever he isn't doing work for school or the millions of other things he does, he's complaining about how terrible his life is. I try really hard to try and be sympathetic, but in reality I'm jealous of his ability to go away to college. On top of that we never seem to talk anymore. Whenever we're together he's working and ignoring me, or trying to get in my pants. I'm so tired of it. All I want is to be close to him again, and it feels impossible. He's become bossy, inattentive, and moody. I do love him though, and I just don't know what to do to fix us...

Welcome to the forum

Originally Posted by 1hope2love

Now I feel bad all the time about everything

Originally Posted by 1hope2love

On top of that we never seem to talk anymore

University/college is a huge hurdle that you'll both either get through together or come out of it two different, stronger people. The above statements concern me greatly. If youre feeling bad in yourself and not happy then you can't expect him to feel good and be happy either. Work on number one, get to your happy place again and you'll find that the closeness between you both will come back. Its what I call the '18 month slump' - you know each other inside out, the wonderful honeymoon stage is over (because youve both chosen for it to be-it doesnt have to be, just requires effort from both of you) In short, you've reached the comfortable stage.

So, how are you going to fix it? Firstly, you bothneed to want to fix it. If both parties havent got their hearts in it, its pointless you wasting all your energy. It is a difficult time, im not denying that, and it'd be easy for you both to give up. Have a chat about how he sees your future together? How does he feel about going to university. What constructive things are you both going to do to make sure it works. But above all, find ways to make yourself happy again....you cant expect yourself to deal with this emotional strain if youre not full of the joys of spring