Thread: Cursed by the "LJBF"

You are right that, lets just be friends is in most cases a polite way of saying a person doesn't feel the chemistry or connection. But I think its hard to relay that to someone in a way that won't hurt their feelings. Especially if THEY feel the chemistry and you don't. It would be easier to say if it was obviously not going to work from either persons perspectives... but when a person is clearly into someone and the other isn't... I think a woman at least giving the tired 'lets just be friends'... is SO much better than leading a man on and having him take her on countless more dates and lets him invest more of his feelings into her before she finally gains the courage to say its not going to work.

So yeah, it ALWAYS stinks when someone doesn't feel the way we hope they will... and nope, there is no easy way to put that. And yep 'lets just be friends' is lame when its not truly meant... and is just a way of relating there is no chemistry or interest... but ack... its a sticky situation don't you think?

Its kind of like with anything... people tend to try to put things nicely, when they are nice. Some people are brutally honest...and some people can handle brutal honesty. But some people are insanely uncomfortable with the potential of hurting someones feelings.. and will try to think of something 'nice' to say.

Perhaps the girls that use the 'lets just be friends line' have recieved some really harsh responses to 'i'm not really feeling this' or something of the like and so think that is the most gentle way to put it? Or maybe they really do see qualities in the person they'd want a part of their life, just not in a romantic way?

If a person likes you, but doesn't feel any chemistry or for whatever reason doesn't want to be romantically involved with you, isn't it normal to want to be friends? It seems pretty straight-forward to me.

Maybe there is chemistry, just not sexual chemistry therefore they think you'd be someone they'd enjoy being friends with. On the other hand, I agree that it is probably most often a polite way of rejection. When you're a nice, kind hearted person, it's hard being the one to have to reject. But as hard as it is, it's better than the girl letting you take her out over and over even though she knows there's nothing there.

AZ Guy language is a limited means of communication. What I hear you saying is the message IS being "communicated' and you don't "like" the method. Or is it that you don't like the message? Either way- look at it as a "plus"-she's not interested and told you that "up front" Move on man; plenty of fish in the sea- why waste time and emotion on someone "not interested".