On the verge ofa breakup...advice please!

**ajwvette** · 06-14-2011 09:18 AM

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 and a half years and we have lived together for almost 4. Last week we went from discussing wedding plans one night to fighting the next night. Fighting to the point where he wants to leave and I sit in front of the door to keep him from going. That happened Thursday and I have since realized why I did it but he doesn't care or want to listen to any reasons. He says its the same old song and every fight in the past and this was the last chance.

In the past couple weeks I have started seeing a counselor for help with these same issues, but he wants to leave and not even give me a chance to get the help I need to resolve these issues so we can have a relationship together. We are going to talk tonight about taking a break. I know that if he leaves he won't come back. How can I convince him that this time is different and that I really have changed so I don't lose the man I love?

**Seeker_Advice** · 06-14-2011 10:02 AM

Having to convince anyone of anything is not healthy or helpful.

Sounds to me like you both need professional help and have needed it for a long time.

It's better to find out now, then 20 years from now and all the heartache that can bring.

**rcoreyus** · 06-14-2011 11:37 PM

What have you been fighting about, and what has changed?

Some people are not meant to be together. Might both of you be happier with someone else?

**WildChild** · 06-15-2011 09:40 AM

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

What have you been fighting about, and what has changed?

Also, How old are the two of you?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-16-2011 03:22 PM

You can't convince him until you learn that you are also important and he can not speak to you like that.

You can not sit in front of a door, crying and begging him not to leave, aren't you worth more than that?

Until you can see that, work on you for now, 2 months down the track, 5 years is a long time, if you can gain strength and be ascertive, love yourself and not allow yourself to be spoken down to, laughed out and degraded verbally, I'm guessing, then you really will be able to show him..And, you will have the choice to see if he really is all you think he is, or you both together as a couple is.

CW

**JadedQueen** · 06-19-2011 07:16 AM

I have since realized why I did it but he doesn't care or want to listen to any reasons.

In the past couple weeks I have started seeing a counselor for help with these same issues, but he wants to leave and not even give me a chance to get the help I need to resolve these issues so we can have a relationship together.

I am really unclear about what exactly happened and exactly what your issues are. Could you provide us with a little more detailed information? Without knowing exactly what the "ISSUES" are I don't think anyone can really give you solid advice.

Sometimes in a realtionship enough is enough and if you have been dealing with the same issues without being able to resolve it in the five years you have been together, how long until these "issues" are resolved? A person can only deal with so much and if you've been going through the same issues for five years and you are just now deciding to get help for it and only after an incident occured that made him walk out the door can you really blame him? I may be unclear on the exact situation, your post is kinda vague. I am just going on what you have posted.... please provide a little more info.