He can reach me, I cant reach him

**lissax** · 06-26-2011 02:04 PM

My boyfriend and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. I was devestated, I really fell in love with him and it hurt me a lot when he called it quits. I felt so lost and just thinking about him made me cry. After about 2 weeks I stared to feel more grateful instead of sad. Like at least I had this, I fell in love for my first time, it hurt but I'm happy I had this. Its not like I was moved on it just didn't hurt as bad and I wasn't crying anymore.

Two nights ago at 9:30pm he texted me. All he said was "hello". Just seeing that ripped open the wound and it felt new, fresh, sad again. About 30 minutes later I got the courage to say "hi" back. Nothing. Four hours passed and he said nothing. I texted him again "was there a point or?" Once again, nothing. I was so confused, why would he do this? Then last night he called me around 2am. Once again at 215 then 230. I was asleep so I didn't get them until the morning. I knew already they were late night drunken phone calls but once again, why? I spent 5 hours at work with the on my mind. Wondering what could he want, does he miss me, would we get back together, do I want to put myself through the hurt again? After wondering all day I decided to text him. I said "Why are you calling and texting me out of the blue? Its messing with my head. Say what you wanna say or please stop." He saying nothing.

The whole situation has got me so messed up. It feels like we just broke up yesterday again. I hate that he won't answer me, that I can't get ahold of him. My minds so confused. I just want some advice, or some insight on what this might mean. Anything! :/

**rcoreyus** · 06-26-2011 04:16 PM

I'm sorry, I can see how that would be really miserable. I think you are right that they are drunken late-night calls / texts, and you should try to ignore them. Picture him drunkenly saying "hi" maybe without even recognizing you. If he really wanted to contact you he would do it during the day with a carefully worded letter.

A breakup hurts, but it sounds like part of you already realizes that it was for the best.

**WildChild** · 06-26-2011 06:01 PM

Sounds like he's playing games. Some people do this, they get horny and feeling a little lonely so they put put a feeler or two, Then something happens, a friend calls, they sober up, they get some sleep, they get busy and you slip out of their mind again.

R is right, if he really wanted to talk, he'd do better than a 2 am call of a one word text.

Ignore them.

**JadedQueen** · 06-27-2011 04:46 AM

As far as what it means, you can speculate from now until the end of time but the only person that know the reason why he keeps doing this is him. Who broke it off? you? Him? or was it a mutual decision? How long were you together?

My suggestion is to change your number or if your phone has the options, block calls from him. If you REALLY want to know why he is trying to contact you and want to give him one last opportunity to tell you then prior to doing it you could send him one last text message letting him know that you are planning on changing your number and this is his last and only chance to say whatever it is that needs to be said because after your number is changed you no longer want to hear from him because it's too painful for you. Odds are he probably won't contact you but change your number or block his calls if at all possible that way you can lick your wounds and move on from this relationship.

**lissax** · 06-27-2011 07:04 AM

As much as I wish I could ignore them or block his number, I can't. I would take him back in a second. And I don't know, I guess, this has somehow made me think he might be miserable too and wants us back. It's like it's given me hope in another chance.

**WildChild** · 06-27-2011 09:11 AM

I wouldn't change my number, its not like he is threatening, just annoying at this point.
Don't spend much energy on that hope. Get on with your life, go have some fun.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 06-27-2011 09:14 AM

What does it mean? It means that you loved someone, which is awesome. But it just happens that you loved someone who is immature and into playing games. This is the classic case of the ex who tramples your heart trying to keep you on a string just in case they decide they want you again. It's total BS and will do nothing but play with your heart and mind and keep you from moving forward in your life. Cut it off. Do NOT let him have that kind of control over your emotions. Him randomly contacting you doesn't mean he loves you......if anything it just further proves that he doesn't. Now you know you can fall in love, and next time you'll be more careful that you're falling for someone who IS treating you like you deserve.

**JadedQueen** · 06-28-2011 01:49 AM

I realize that you still love him but is taking him back really in the long run a good thing? I don't know the details (reasons) for your breakup, who initiated it or if it was mutual but reflect back on your relationship with him... was it a good one? Was it healthy or toxic? If you did end up getting back together are the odds greater that eventually you will part ways or do you think it has a chance of working? If the relationship is unhealthy taking him back and holding out hope is only going to prolong your misery. It's like having a wound and before it has a chance to fully heal... you rip the scab off of it over and over again causing it to bleed and hurt. I have had breakups that even though I knew it would never work I still would have gone back if given the chance. Even though he's not threatening you or doing anything bad.... the fact still remains that each and every time he calls, sends a text it rips the scab off and causes you pain that you were just beginning to heal from.... if nothing else, block his number so when he calls, his calls are directed to your voicemail.