self conscious

**innocent_eyes** · 07-09-2011 03:43 PM

Me and my boyfriend going out 6 months next week so we decided to go way for our first weekend together. We are really close and can tell each other everything.
Except one thing, lately ive put on a few pounds, maybe half a stone and i just feel like absolute . Going for a romantic weekend away is the last thing i want to do when i feel so unsexy at the moment. I dont talk to him about it because i definately dont want to be one of those girls constantly on about their weight to their boyfriend.
My boyfriend is really into fitness and women are always coming up to him, I guess its just lately im feeling extra self conscious and so sex is the last thing im thinking of. I know he likes me and used to comment on how good my body was so lately i just dont feel attractive. No matter how many times someone says it if you dont feel it youself theres no point.
Am i over reacting or do you think its ok to just post pone this weekend for a few weeks time where hopefully by then il be back to normal and feel better about myself?
Would love girls and guys opinions

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-09-2011 03:59 PM

Are you 1) suggesting he hasn't seen you in a while and consequently has not seen the weight gain?

And 2) your comment, " I know he likes me and used to comment on how good my body was"....

Sounds like you think you have to be a certain size in order for him to find you attractive and love you...Just because one person loves being fit and prefers a partner to be the same, doesn't mean they don't accept you for who you are. Aren't you your own person? Whom is sharing a life with someone else?

Do you like being a little over weight or have you been stressing or feeling depressed and gained a little from comfort eating in other words aren't you putting too much importance on you having to look a certain way, in order to have this relationship....

If a man loves you he accepts you warts and all at the end of the day honey..

And, embrase your curves, wear something sexy that suits your new you, and tell him you love your curves, tell yourself that as well

**melsand** · 07-13-2011 05:54 PM

I am EXTREMELY self conscious. I hate my body. I am a C cup and have a large butt sideways, but not outward. I want breast implants because my boyfriend of almost 9 months was looking at porn. I only found out because he was watching it on TV and the bill for $100 came in the mail. I was furious, not only am I self conscious to begin with, but that just made it worse because I know those s have Ds and DDs and are thin and "sexy". But why can't I be "sexy" to him? He says he loves me and loves my body, but obviously that is complete bullsh*t. I just hate feeling this way. I have always wanted to look like those skinny little blonds with huge boobs and a perfect butt. And I honestly feel like crud about myself. So I know how you are feeling, I am here for you.

**WildChild** · 07-13-2011 06:14 PM

Darlings stop and THINK about this. IF he is in fact the kind of man who will only care for you and want you if you fit a specific body image, why would you even want him in your life? Are you attracted to men who are that shallow? I can almost guarantee that if you had a barbie doll body you would find some other reason to feel less than you are.

Half the stuff that you are soooo certain he and everyone else notices - they don't. I hope that as you mature you will lose that kind of thinking. At 50+ I frankly don't care. I want to be healthy and fit for myself. Anyone, any man, who doesn't find me attractive, (to borrow a phrase) pffftttt.The man I'm seeing now is a few years younger and told me quite frankly that he has always been with very large busted women. I'm an A cup and quite happy with that. He looks at me like I'm the main course and dessert all in one. He tells me he prayed for a woman like me. I wouldn't presume to question his belief that I am wonderful and worth having in his life.

**melaniegallacia** · 07-19-2011 06:07 PM

Personally I think if you don't postpone it, you could both have a great time and he could really boost your confidence. But its your decision, do whatever you think is best. If you know for a fact your 100% NOT going to be comfortable, then don't go.