I am having a problem with my girlfriend

**Nova066** · 07-19-2011 10:02 AM

I am 27 and she is 24, we have been dating for about 3 months. We are living together due too some hard times on her part but I am happy to help her and if has given me the chance to play alittle house. There have been a a few problems I have seen thou, she doesn't want me to meet her friends because she feels I can't take a joke and she says her friends are B*$(not sure if thats ok to say). I feel that getting to know her friends will at the very least give me some very important insight to her. This is about teh 4th time this came up and she is now saying that if something comesup with her friends I can come but she will not try to make a get together happen. When we first started to date I took her to my friends because we have weekly get together and I thought it was important for her to meet my friends. As that turned out great I thought it was time I meet her friends but all I got at first was if we get married you will meet them on that day and no other time. I think she has given in to teh point were I can be around them but she is not going out of her way for me to meet them. The last odd part of this was she wants us to find friends together so we can go out with them and feels that I should be ok with that if I want to meet and spend time with her friends. I need the view of someone else. What do you make of this?

**Little** · 07-19-2011 10:08 AM

It seems your relationship with your friends is very open and healthy ... you have esteem for them and want them to be a part of your greater life.
Your girlfriend's friendships must be very poor, considering her choice of words for her friends. That should give you some insight there - why does she maintain friendships with women she doesn't even LIKE? How often does she spend time with them?
Alternatively, she could be very protective of you and insecure - afraid one of her friends might "steal you."
If the issue has come up four times without her explaining why, it's unlikely you'll ever know for sure.

**Nova066** · 07-19-2011 10:32 AM

she has said that I am a very serious person and can't take a joke and they will find something about me and attack me about it. As for her friends she has said they have been her best friends for around 8 years or so its just that they make fun of each other(or so she says) and thats how there friendship works. When I said that there maybe another reason why she doesn't want me around them she got mad and said I think she is lying to me.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-19-2011 04:40 PM

I think she is protecting her relationship.

Her friends are "different" than you, but she likes you, she is happy to be in a relationship with you... And, wanting to find friends together, suggests that the friends she has come from her "past", and you will/may view her as if she was always like them and leave her.. When in reality that would not be an insight to what she is like as you think... The insight to her is what you know of her, now, in her present.

I think you are pushing it too much, it's only been 3 months and she wants you to get to know her for her, not her friends or what type of people she used to hang around with.

She's happy with you are you happy with her?