Dating

**ABCD** · 07-25-2011 09:13 PM

Hey I was wondering if I could get some help here. I'm a guy, so sorry not sure if i'm allowed on this site, but I saw a few other people who posted.

I'm a normal guy, nothing wrong with me that would turn girls away (that I know of). I'm normally clear with my intention with girls. I repeatedly will put myself out there and will ask a girl out for lunch or something, and get rejected. Not sure what my problem is. Only thing I can think of is that i'm too nice of a guy. I thought overall, girls appreciated honesty, but it doesn't seem like it. I continually make it clear that I will repsect and treat the girl well to. I just don't understand. If someone could give me some advice that would be great.

**Mes T** · 07-26-2011 12:28 AM

You could be too direct. Lots of people enjoy flirting, sort of "getting to the point" in a round-about way, not directly coming out and saying "I like you let's date." It's part of the fun, and gives the other person time to get to know you and decide whether or not they like you.

**stressed** · 07-26-2011 01:38 AM

Maybe you meet the wrong girls at the wrong places?

**ABCD** · 07-26-2011 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by Mes T

You could be too direct. Lots of people enjoy flirting, sort of "getting to the point" in a round-about way, not directly coming out and saying "I like you let's date." It's part of the fun, and gives the other person time to get to know you and decide whether or not they like you.

Thanks but i'm not straight out asking that haha, i'm just asking her to hang out or whatever it is. Something less casual.

**ABCD** · 07-26-2011 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by stressed

Maybe you meet the wrong girls at the wrong places?

How do you figure that?

**stressed** · 07-26-2011 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by ABCD

How do you figure that?

Usually people (men and women) say this when they try too hard to date someone by hanging at the same places, yet meeting the same kind of people. You need a change of 'target group'

**Seeker_Advice** · 07-26-2011 11:35 AM

Generally, if you approach women in the same type of environment over and over and get rejected each time, or almost every time, etc., it's time to change the environment.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Tried any of the so called dating sites? Might be worth your while.

A few thoughts...

**ABCD** · 07-26-2011 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by stressed

Usually people (men and women) say this when they try too hard to date someone by hanging at the same places, yet meeting the same kind of people. You need a change of 'target group'

Thanks. I mean I guess that would be a good idea, I see what you are saying.. It's just that those are the girls i'm intereted in haha. I mean that is kind of hard to control, who you're attracted to. It's frustrating because it seems the type of girls im not interested are attracted to me, yet i'm not to them. I think part of its me, because it is easy for me to talk around girls im not attracted to but when i am interested, I get stressed and nervous.

**ABCD** · 07-26-2011 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by Seeker_Advice

Generally, if you approach women in the same type of environment over and over and get rejected each time, or almost every time, etc., it's time to change the environment.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Tried any of the so called dating sites? Might be worth your while.

A few thoughts...

That makes sense. But also I think part of the problem is me. I get stressed out and nervous around girls im interested in, and am a lot more confident around other girls. So it's a problem, haha. Any advice.

**wendilee** · 07-26-2011 01:18 PM

if you are comfortable with girls you may not seem to be interested in, then ma b you should give one of them a chance. you may find that the mental attraction is enough for a date, and before you know it you could become very attracted to this person in all ways. you never know, sometimes you have to keep the brown fish instead of the rainbow one.