im tired of fighting

**uneekdesires** · 08-10-2011 02:56 AM

i have loved my boyfriend since the day we met. i just knew he was the one. we were dating for a few months and i ended up getting pregnant. i was ok with it but he was really upset about it. he acted ok for the first 4 or 5 months then i completely stopped seeeing him. he blammed it on car issues and other things i offered to come see him or find him rides to my house but he always refused. i didnt see him until about my 8th month of pregnancy and that was on long enough for him to get my debit card and go to the atm. after that i didnt see him until my baby shower the next month. after our daughter was born he stepped up right away and came to visit me like 3 or 4 times a week but by then i had resented him for ditching me while i was pregnant. i never showed it though i just pretended everything was ok and eventually it got better. when our daughter was about 8 months old we moved into an apt together. at first everything was perfect i was happy he was happy. but i started seeing him being more and more controlling. it took me until my dauther was over a yr old for me to go out with my friends for a night but he had a problem with that he insisted i was out cheating with a guy and wasnt just hanging with my friends. i started putting passwords on my phone so my daughter couldnt txt everyone (i would immediatly tell him my password so it wouldnt look suspicious) but he always insists that im talking to guys. i have a facebook and he doesnt so he assumes im talking to guys on there. i show him my messages and he just tells me im deleting them before he gets to see them. its getting to the point to where i cant go anywhere unless i want t fight. and there has been times where he is not only verbally abusive to me but physically if he gets mad enough he will hit me and he doesnt care whose watching. im just tired of all of this it has gotten to the point where im not attracted to him anymore. he tries to have sex with me and i will make excuses so i wont have to do it. i feel like i lost myself. i never thought i would be abused like this at the age of 20. i really want him to move out. i cant because my name is on the lease and i dont want an eviction on my record. and i have assistance so it makes my rent really cheap. i sometimes feel that he treats me like because he eally doesnt want to be with me but he doesnt want to have to move out and pay a full amount of rent on his own and child support. but i dont feel that i should have to suffer so he can live comfortably. hes not treating me right so y should i care if he can afford to have extra money. i dont know what to do to get him to move out. im just tired of all the arguing and crying i just wanna live a happy life with me and my daughter

**Mes T** · 08-10-2011 03:08 AM

Sounds like you know exactly what you want, but you're a little nervous about taking the initiative. I'm assuming his name isn't on the lease? Then he has no legal right to stay there if you don't want him to. The law's on your side. I'd suggest breaking the news to him in front of other people. For example invite a couple of friends or family members over on the day that you plan on telling him to move out, and have them be there in the room with you. I say this because if he has anger issues, and can be violent, you might want that added protection at that time.

I fully support your decision to end the relationship. It sounds like it will continue to get worse and worse. Your situation already seems dangerous enough for yourself and for your daughter.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-10-2011 03:40 AM

You know we really don't know a person until we've lived with them...

When we meet, we feel some form of connection, call it chemistry, call it lust and yet we feel OMG I am so in love.

That's because we "want to be in love" a baby, that will make everything perfect in this "love" but you know, you are saying that you think he is there because it's cheap rent, no child support, you know intuition is an amazing thing it is real.. What you saw at the beginning of the journey with your child was reality, it was real, he has Ncemented it. Made you see the reality...

He had a fear, of $$ but then you came through due to having a baby now he's controlling you and thinks he owns you and now you see the real person, a few months does not show a person a year or so, way shows a person...

Nowhere do you talk about how great he is with your daughter, just you want to be with your daughter on your own, in love as that love is un-conditional and real..

How do you get him out? IDK, this is now a financial.

How do you stop trying to convince him you are not cheating? Tell him, you are the Father, that's it.. You are using me, you don't care for your daughter or me.

Talk, now to your parents, and get them there at your house, change the locks and put his stuff on the lawn...

You do not want to live this life, on-going, being used, and being emotionally abused, controlled, this is your life, live it and ask for help ...Don't be scared tell it how it is as you did here with us.

Welcome to our Forum, yours too, we are here for you.

CW

**jns** · 08-10-2011 08:25 PM

Originally Posted by uneekdesires

i have loved my boyfriend since the day we met. i just knew he was the one. we were dating for a few months and i ended up getting pregnant. i was ok with it but he was really upset about it. he acted ok for the first 4 or 5 months then i completely stopped seeeing him. he blammed it on car issues and other things i offered to come see him or find him rides to my house but he always refused. i didnt see him until about my 8th month of pregnancy and that was on long enough for him to get my debit card and go to the atm. after that i didnt see him until my baby shower the next month. after our daughter was born he stepped up right away and came to visit me like 3 or 4 times a week but by then i had resented him for ditching me while i was pregnant. i never showed it though i just pretended everything was ok and eventually it got better. when our daughter was about 8 months old we moved into an apt together. at first everything was perfect i was happy he was happy. but i started seeing him being more and more controlling. it took me until my dauther was over a yr old for me to go out with my friends for a night but he had a problem with that he insisted i was out cheating with a guy and wasnt just hanging with my friends. i started putting passwords on my phone so my daughter couldnt txt everyone (i would immediatly tell him my password so it wouldnt look suspicious) but he always insists that im talking to guys. i have a facebook and he doesnt so he assumes im talking to guys on there. i show him my messages and he just tells me im deleting them before he gets to see them. its getting to the point to where i cant go anywhere unless i want t fight. and there has been times where he is not only verbally abusive to me but physically if he gets mad enough he will hit me and he doesnt care whose watching. im just tired of all of this it has gotten to the point where im not attracted to him anymore. he tries to have sex with me and i will make excuses so i wont have to do it. i feel like i lost myself. i never thought i would be abused like this at the age of 20. i really want him to move out. i cant because my name is on the lease and i dont want an eviction on my record. and i have assistance so it makes my rent really cheap. i sometimes feel that he treats me like because he eally doesnt want to be with me but he doesnt want to have to move out and pay a full amount of rent on his own and child support. but i dont feel that i should have to suffer so he can live comfortably. hes not treating me right so y should i care if he can afford to have extra money. i dont know what to do to get him to move out. im just tired of all the arguing and crying i just wanna live a happy life with me and my daughter

I suggest you break up with him, throw him out and get a restraining order. Then call the cops when he violates the restraining order.