Thread: Messed up Big time with boyfriend of 6 years

Hello,

I am writing in desperation for any advice on what to do. I have been with my boyfriend 'bob' for six years. It hasn't been easy. We've had our ups and downs and most recently I've carried out a relationship with a guy that I've ended it with. Bob found out and now doesn't want anything to do with me. Here's the story:

Bob is a great guy. He's genuine, caring, considerate and we where head over heals in love with each other. The last two years of our relationship, he ran into economic problems in his field in animation and was for the most part unemployed. I had no problem with this, except for the fact that he was very lackadaisical about the whole situation and besides the few cold-call emails here and there didn't really try hard enough. I've always been a hard worker and have worked for everything that i have. So about a year ago he moved in with his parents and although he was trying harder than usual he wasn't doing much than lolling around the house depressed. I am 24 and He is 29. I felt like he should be doing more with himself. I found this very pathetic and couldn't get past that fact that he'll probably be this way with his life and I can't start a family with a guy who is lazy and unmotivated. I tried ending it with him, but he begged me not to, so I didn't.

So my eyes strayed and I carried out a full on relationship with another guy. The new guy was fun, talented, successful and memorized me for six months. I even wrote a few posts about him. It turns out the grass isn't always greener on the other side. He is neurotic, phobic about everything and expects something for anything he gives me. What I realized is that, I was searching for a guy from a lifestyle that I don't fit into, yuppy superficial crowd. I am now on a path to try and find myself and figure out what i really want in life for myself and not from another man.

Bob is now getting himself together (he's going to grad school in the fall) and has a somewhat stable job. He's finally doing things that I wanted all along (I guess I couldn't wait the 2 years). He also found out about the other guy and now doesn't want to be with me at all. Well actually he found out month ago, and I lied about it and finally the truth came out. He was always by my side when I went through my hard times (family issues), and he felt that instead of me cheating I should have been women enough to tell him i couldn't take it and end it or just hang in there with him. He was right.

Me and Bob were wonderful together, if we didn't factor in life - like the forces of money a career and starting a new life, which eventually ruined everything. He still talks to me over the phone, but ended it with me. I feel like if I push myself on him he will take me back (with lots of regulations i believe). I miss him terribly and want him back. I know things won't be the same and I am willing to take the lack of trust and accusations.

Do you think its worth fighting for? Can anyone give me advice on somehow mending this relationship? Has anyone gone through something similar and made it out alive? I don't want to loose him.

I reposed this in the correct category "Relationships". Please post comments on that thread.