Dating a Divorcee

**MaverickRGV** · 08-16-2011 08:53 AM

I met someone a year ago and went on a few dates. She was recently divorced and I could tell she was not her true self. We had a few great dates that ended with her acting scared of intimacy. A few months passed and we were both at the same wedding. We ended up having sex, which was stopped by her in the middle, and her leaving. I soon after recieved a text that she needed to take a step back. A few months pass and she contacts about something silly. We begin to spend time again. I was going to Belize and invited her along which she acted so nervous by the thought. 5 days before I leave her shrink tells her she could go and see what feelings might spark from it. So we go. On the trip she is smitten. Holding hands and wanting affection. We had sex as few times but once it ended with her crying and another her angry. We get back and have lunch a few days later. It was back to the way it was. Cold. Now I start to complain about everything. We start spending more time and seem to have broken a barrier. This last weekend I booked hotel room at the beach. I tried nice dinners, exciting activities, anything to show that I really like her. I tried to make a move and she once again she pulled back. Kissing is never an issue. Of course if I try she isnt very responsive, but once I get frustrated and get pissy she tries a little harder. To make matters worse I said something hurtful to her out of frustration and she is mad and explained again that she was taking a step back. Any thoughts? I can't understand the pain of going through a divorce and I have been patient until just recently. I've apologized to her several time this week and she has definitely put up a wall. I guess I'm trying to figure out if to give up and move on to the next thing that hopefully is not carrying emotional baggage or stick this out.

**KMonte85** · 08-16-2011 09:16 AM

Simple answer... it is time for you to move on.

You have been pursuing this woman for a year, she's still having trouble working through the emotions of her divorce and continues to push you away. How long do you want to wait for a woman with whom you have no real relationship other than casual (and seemingly unpleasant) sex every once in a while? You have no ties to this woman and she has made it painfully evident that she isn't ready.

It is time for you to find a woman who is ready to love, who will give you the affection and emotional stability that you deserve.

**WildChild** · 08-16-2011 09:18 AM

She's clearly not ready for a relationship. It may be some time before she is. It does sound like she has some issues around sex and intimacy that may go beyond her divorce.
Sticking it out would likely result in a lot of frustration for both of you.

**MaverickRGV** · 08-16-2011 09:22 AM

Thanks. Thats what I needed to hear. I just have been told that you must be patient but this seems a little too ridiculous. I appreciate it.

**Elanor-Jane** · 08-18-2011 02:47 AM

My boyfriend is separated and will (hopefully) file for divorce soon. It's hard because you can never be sure of just how over things they are. Marriage is a big deal I guess. If she's the sentimental type she may need more time but she sounds a little messy which as WC pointed out could be more deep seeded. It sucks that she couldn't at least be nice to you when u made such an effort. Many women would appreciate that sort of attention. If your an open guy that likes taking someone out to do fun things then there will be plenty of worthwhile women who will want to spend time with you

**Elanor-Jane** · 08-18-2011 02:59 AM

It also sounds like she craves conflict and drama. I've been like that before and it's destructive.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-18-2011 03:31 AM

She is still in love with her ex, why? Because she feels guilty to have sex with you, she stopped half way through, a key sign of that she hasn't moved on.

Time for you to move on