Deal Breakers

**Taos** · 08-19-2011 04:21 PM

Men and women have preconceived notions about what they desire and expect from their dates, especially first dates. My primary deal breaker is hygiene. I am not talking about a woman who hasn't shaved before our date or eyebrows that haven't been plucked in a while. My deal breaker is a woman who is not clean. I expect a woman to shower at least once a day, and if she has had a sweaty day to at least take another quick shower before we go out. When I detect excessive use of perfume, it causes me to wonder.

So what are your deal breakers?

Thanks,

Taos

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-19-2011 04:31 PM

I'm not sure how to answer this,

First date and you gleen whether they shower every single day or not? Excess perfume may suggest that they don't ? And you write this on a Women'a Forum? Giggle giggle be prepared.

Scared.

Okay, to me that is more OCD than anything else, sorry but that's my "opinon", unless you are expected to sleep with them on that first date everytime and well, go the full yards, how to you ask a woman huhrm, I am about to give you my lovvvveee firstly via Oral did you shower? Only joking on that last bit

But, expecting from someone? We are our own person, in my opinion, we have a right to be that, if I want to skip a day so be it, if I want sex I'll shower just before, mainly I do shower daily but I'm just making a point that that deal breaker sounds more like OCD or based only on sexuality, sex....sorrrrrrry

My deal breaker is on a first date? Is not making an effort , dressing down I don't mean jeans that's fine, but with a nice top, not daggy... Presentation to me says you made an effort, for me....

**Beautiful Disaster** · 08-19-2011 05:40 PM

Arrogance.
A man who gives me the impression that he's judging me or scratching things off a checklist.
A man who exhibits any sort of compulsive behavior or has lots of "A woman I date MUST..." 's.

**Fallen1** · 08-19-2011 05:56 PM

I second the arrogance.
A man who looks across the table at you like you are a piece of meat.
A man who brings up sex on the first date.

**stressed** · 08-21-2011 09:39 AM

First date deal breakers:

- Talking about marriage. (=wants to settle)
- Excessive talk about an ex. (=doesn't let go of his past)
- Sets rules as if we're already a couple. (=controlling)
- Doesn't behave like himself, but wants to impress to the point of he's not being himself (=insecure).

Comment to OP: Showers at least once a day? You're missing out on pheromones!

**Hopeless Dork** · 08-21-2011 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster

Arrogance.
A man who gives me the impression that he's judging me or scratching things off a checklist.
A man who exhibits any sort of compulsive behavior or has lots of "A woman I date MUST..." 's.

^^^This

Undateable.

Negativity, Judgement, Comparing, Bringing up exes, Probing for flaws, etc

**chaya** · 08-21-2011 02:14 PM

When I was dating, before I met my husband, a deal breaker for me was if I found out the guy drank alcohol or used drugs. I always told them up front that I didn't like alcohol and couldn't stand anyone that used drugs. As a college student, that really narrowed the field of eligible guys.

**Little** · 08-21-2011 02:33 PM

In theory and in the past, naturally, from when I was dating.

-Drugs. I don't object to friends using them, but with roommates, and men I dated who had the potential to be roommates in the future, not acceptable. I'm not into illegal things, and given the opportunity I might sing like a canary to the cops.
-Misogynists. Inclusive of men who think they're not misogynists, but act otherwise.
-Emotionally unavailable men. That's not to say that I haven't fallen repeatedly, predictably, and ad nauseum for emotionally unavailable men. I'm lucky that hubby turned out to just be shy.
-Physically unavailable men. I don't want a man who's going to get deployed, who works offshore, or who lives more than a few towns away from me. I don't want a man who doesn't want to be touched or who won't have sex on Sundays, either.
-Dislikes kids. Men who don't want kids (or more kids) were a quick NO for me.
-Social conservatives. Anybody who listens to talk radio or watches Fox News for anything more than giggles. See point #2, misogynists.
-Users and abusers of all shapes and sizes. Obviously.

**Elanor-Jane** · 08-22-2011 02:20 AM

-drugs
-arrogant
-differing political views, couldnt go out with a member of the tea party etc or the australian equiv. so in other words no racists (or even worse-people that pretend theyre not racists)

just wondering how can u tell someone hasnt had a shower? aside from them looking really dirty, like oily hair, reminants of old makeup or in a mans case actual dirt from say his job,and smelling etc... and why would u ask out a dirty smelly person on a date in the first place? obviously youve met before unless u met online?? i personally shower atleast every day but being a makeup artist i wear makeup everyday and do my hair with some product or spray so it needs to be washed out. and my mutt feels gross if i dont shower every day too, so its more a comfort thing moreso than a am i going to have sex sort of thing. often perfum is just really strong smelling going on preference etc. if its parfume as opposed to toilette (my french teacher used to call it toilet water LOL) its going to pack more of a punch if u wear it incorrectly...but i think thats a common oversight with women and perfume and doesnt nessessarily mean they dont shower.

**Taos** · 08-23-2011 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by Little

In theory and in the past, naturally, from when I was dating.

-Drugs. I don't object to friends using them, but with roommates, and men I dated who had the potential to be roommates in the future, not acceptable. I'm not into illegal things, and given the opportunity I might sing like a canary to the cops.
-Misogynists. Inclusive of men who think they're not misogynists, but act otherwise.
-Emotionally unavailable men. That's not to say that I haven't fallen repeatedly, predictably, and ad nauseum for emotionally unavailable men. I'm lucky that hubby turned out to just be shy.
-Physically unavailable men. I don't want a man who's going to get deployed, who works offshore, or who lives more than a few towns away from me. I don't want a man who doesn't want to be touched or who won't have sex on Sundays, either.
-Dislikes kids. Men who don't want kids (or more kids) were a quick NO for me.
-Social conservatives. Anybody who listens to talk radio or watches Fox News for anything more than giggles. See point #2, misogynists.
-Users and abusers of all shapes and sizes. Obviously.

Good Morning, Little,

I will admit that you confound me. I would not have assumed you to be prejudicial and intolerant. What would be your defense for harboring such extreme prejudice and intolerance of social conservatives? Viewers of Fox News? And what proof do you have that would link the male populations of those groups to misogyny?

Just curious...,

Taos