A Relationship I've Never Been in Before

**kdods** · 09-05-2011 11:48 AM

Alright then, that's really what I'm going for. I like having my baby around. Now, how can I reconcile things?

**Little** · 09-05-2011 12:04 PM

Get her to take on more responsibility. She's an adult and should act like one.

**jns** · 09-05-2011 12:27 PM

I agree with Little, but you have to work on yourself, too. Start thinking out the results of your actions before carrying them out. Maybe breaking up due to her not appreciating you wasn't the right move. By doing it, you cut part of the communications. She has less reason to compromise now than before.

**kdods** · 09-05-2011 12:42 PM

I've got a dry erase board with a month's worth of days on it. I wrote down the four chores that we do on a regular basis, and we can each take turns doing them each week. If she doesn't agree to it, I'll throw a fit(?) (Just kidding, but I will make a big deal out of it.) I'm going to have a talk with her about taking care of the baby. I don't mind getting up with her every day, but if I'm going to be working in between classes, she'll need to step up.

**Little** · 09-05-2011 01:08 PM

Splitting up the chores is a good first step. At the end of the day, you want to share responsibilities equally. Take into account which chores each one of you likes or hates the most, try to divide it accordingly.
You can split up child care by tasks too. If one of you spends a big chunk of time just hanging out with baby during the day, charge the other with certain tasks - like feeding her dinner or going through her bedtime routine.
And, as sort of an aside, when next semester's class signup comes around, plan your classes in big chunks. Even if you're a few years in with less class choice, you can still usually plan it so that you have all classes on MWF (I did this the last two semesters of college) or all your classes in a certain 4 hours each day. If the classes you need in your major always take place at 3pm MWF, try to make all your classes happen in the afternoon - and all your gf's classes be in the morning. Or vice versa. You may already do this, but you mentioned working "between classes," so I thought I'd mention this.