Maybe first relationship

**raindropsugarcane** · 09-06-2011 03:37 PM

Hello, OK
I am 20 years old and have never been in a relationship before. I have just transferred schools. One of my friends thought I would be a good match with one of her guy friends. she was not too subtle, so both of us knew of her plan. well its been about two weeks and I find that I like him. I think he is smart, funny, and attractive. Plus he does not have very much relationship experience, so he is not intimidating.
Here is what is bothering me. When do you cross that threshold from hanging out to being in a relationship?
we have been hanging out around other people, so we havent actually had very much one on one time. but we sit really close together, not quiet cuddling, but arms or legs touching. Is it ok that I like him this much without having had a lot of time alone with him? I have no clue what I am doing... I know that I want to be around him pretty much most of the time. he makes me smile. should I just jump in, or use caution? Im not talking about sex, but becoming attached. I guess what I am wondering is, from what I have told you, do you think that if I started a relationship, do you think I would be acting rashly?

**LanaBear** · 09-06-2011 03:42 PM

Why not just ask him if he wants to grab a bite to eat with you sometime? I think it is too early to start a "relationship", but try hanging out, just the two of you a few times, to see how it goes. There is no right or wrong here. If you are feeling attracted to him, then act on it. He makes you smile, for now, that is enough. Enough to see if there is anything there to make a relationship out of.

Ask him out for coffee, lunch, a hike, something outdoors, anything. If he's interested, then he'll accept and you'll soon find out if the attraction is returned.

**Elanor-Jane** · 09-06-2011 06:16 PM

If he's new to all this or atleast a gentleman he may be waiting for more signs from you, I know with my current bf he waited for me to make physical contact. We sat on his loungeroom floor until like 5am talking before I had the guts to kiss him etc. He said later he wasn't going to make a move as he wanted to be sure I wanted him---so if he's being close with you he may just be scared to make that next move. Don't stress about relationship status yet, next time your close, take his hand! Sometimes if u want to do something but are too scared u have to swallow your fear and just do it. Goodluck xx

**raindropsugarcane** · 09-09-2011 11:52 PM

Thanks for the advice and input, but I have another issue with this situation. I have really come to like this guy, but now he has backed off. I wouldn't take it personally, but he was the one who really kicked things into gear by sitting close to me (close enough so that we were touching, almost cuddling) but he has just done a turn around. It really hurts and I am confused. I have always been closed off and shy, and the fact that I wanted to attempt being with this person is a really big deal. I wasn't needy or clingy.. I am really cautious. HE was the one that moved things along. so I am, for lack of a better word, frustrated and also angry. I feel rejected. I don't know what I did.. it hurts.

**orchiddreams** · 09-14-2011 06:02 PM

You didn't even act- how can you feel rejected. Don't be so hard on yourself. The beginning of any dating experience is always weird because people misunderstand signals, often they are not sure what they are feeling themselves and send mixed signals.

It does make you wonder if you had taken action if he would be agreeable to your invitation. It's still not too late. Dating requires thick skin and calculated risks- not unhealthy risks.

Goodluck.