Men paying for dinners wth their girlfriends

**Magnetism** · 09-25-2011 09:26 PM

Ha, I've told him plenty about my culture. He tells me, "You're so Americanized, so who cares?" Sure, I'm Americanized, but there are SOME cultural ingrained things that you just don't let go. He doesn't seem too much into his culture either. He does whatever he wants.

**jns** · 09-25-2011 09:41 PM

He wants to think you are more Americanized than you are so he doesn't have to do some work on his part to understand you. Have you both gone to Indian cultural events together?

**Magnetism** · 09-25-2011 09:53 PM

No. There hasn't been an opportunity for us to go to a cultural event. He has met my family though and I've shown him pictures of Indian weddings. My parents live in a different state than I do, and they are the ones that are connected to all of the network. I really don't know many Indians where I live now.

We had similar interests, such as liking metal music, concerts, disliking sports and an appreciation for fine arts that brought us together. But, that alone isn't enough. My Indian friends, who are married to non-Indians, have partners that have learned to adapt to Indian culture. You can disagree with something, but you don't have to expect your partner to give up stuff. It seems like he wanted me to be on par with his beliefs.

**jns** · 09-25-2011 10:08 PM

Originally Posted by PaneraBread

My Indian friends, who are married to non-Indians, have partners that have learned to adapt to Indian culture. You can disagree with something, but you don't have to expect your partner to give up stuff. It seems like he wanted me to be on par with his beliefs.

Exactly. One more subject that makes me say that he is not the one for you. If I was him, I would find some Indian cultural event and go to it with you over a weekend even if it was several states away.

I started learning Thai just before meeting my Thai wife and kept on learning until I could communicate in it. We got married there and after seven months got her visa approved. Additionally I read up on local history and went to Thailand with her every year to two for a month. We have been married for 21 years. He doesn't have to do as much, but he has to do something.

**Magnetism** · 09-25-2011 10:40 PM

He loves Indian food and has watched some movies. He knows a fair amount about the history. That's about it. He doesn't agree with respecting your elders, and that will be a long-term future problem. I was taught that no matter how bad an older person is, you still be civil to them. You don't have to like them, but you don't treat them like . He had texted my mom a mean message after we had broken up. I can't imagine myself ever doing that to someone's parent-no matter how bad that parent is. If he's going to act like that now, imagine how he will be when he's angry at me or kids, etc.

**jns** · 10-24-2011 02:27 PM

PB, how are things going?

**Magnetism** · 10-30-2011 09:20 PM

Hi Jns,

Things are going well with me. Thanks for asking. I have missed him at times, but other times I'm relieved when noticing things that I didn't see before. You become more objective when you're out of the relationship.

He e-mailed me recently asking how things are going, but I told him it's not a good idea to stay friends considering how things get messy.