why do we keep fighting?

**seansylva2000** · 09-19-2011 07:51 AM

i've been dating this guy for three years now and i'm currently living with him.His place is closest to my place of work(internship). We fight over the slightest reason,i feel he is getting tired of me although he never said that and infact he begged me to have him back just some few months back when i decided i have had enough of it all.
Sometimes, i wish i could just date someone else....i've had opportunities to do so but i end up tellling him every bit of it....
I need help on our to keep my mouth shut. I am honestly tired of the fights.....

**Seeker_Advice** · 09-19-2011 09:54 AM

You fight because you choose to fight. It takes two to fight.

The fighting won't stop until one of you decides to stop fighting.

It's that simple.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 09-19-2011 10:06 AM

When one person in a relationship is unhappy, it makes both people unhappy. When both people are unhappy in a relationship, of course, both people will ACT unhappy. In both cases, fighting results.

What are you hanging on to? You're not happy in this relationship. I think it's quite clear he's not either. You're attached because you've been together a while, and you don't want to have to start all over. But it doesn't sound to me like you're in love, or that this is the guy that's right for you.

So why sneak around and see other guys? End the relationship, cut your ties, and date other people. It's what you need right now and I think that's obvious.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-20-2011 02:43 AM

Ask yourself firstly, if you got on without fighting before you moved in with him. Maybe you can't live together but ultimately fantasizing about other men and telling him off course is going to get him upset, as is leaving, coming back, threatening to leave.

If you are not happy, you are not happy, time to move on.

**KMonte85** · 09-20-2011 12:07 PM

What are you always fighting about and how do the fights get started? If you see the same patterns and the same issues coming up again and again, you'll see what you need to work on.

But really, it just sounds like you're apathetic to the whole relationship (wishing to date other people, wanting to know "how to keep your mouth shut"). What benefit is there to staying with your boyfriend if you're unhappy? You might just benefit from moving out of his place and taking a break from each other.