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Thread: I hate his family

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    VIP Member Array happytam's Avatar
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    Default I hate his family


    What to do when you hate your boyfriends family? We've been together for 3 years and I think he's wonderful but I can't stand his family. His mother is a neurotic, ocd bag of misery. His father is always making jokes at his expense and even when I think there's a compliment coming, it ends up being a backhanded insult. His sister is the princess of the family who is so used to having everything handed to her that she can't do anything for herself. I bite my tongue and tough it out through the family gatherings but I honestly don't know how much longer I will be able to do that. He knows how I feel but he wants me to just suffer through it like he does.
    If our relationship goes any further I fear I will be stuck with these people for the rest of my life. I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. Anyone else out there have this problem? How do you deal?
    No regrets, only lessons learned

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    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Tam, we can't choose our partners family, we deal with it, smile in the knowing that for the most part, we don't have to see them very often and it's your life, with your partner for a very long time....

    Who are you with them or him?

    Yes, you will be stuck with them but you have to honestly just remember that they can not and will not affect your relationship with your boyfriend.....it's only if you let them, ignore those things that's not bad, that's who they are, nothing you can do about it..
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

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    VIP Member Array happytam's Avatar
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    I know that you're correct. The hard part is trying to remember that during the upcoming holidays. There are many family gatherings to come......
    No regrets, only lessons learned

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    Administrator Array Little's Avatar
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    Does your boyfriend stick up for you when those backhanded insults start coming? If not, why? Just because he wants to "keep the peace?" What else does he sweep under the rug and suffer through?
    Remember, as you make your choice, that his family has had big influence on his vision of what a relationship could be. Many people rise above the example their families have set - but I'm sure that just as many don't. Look at the far-reaching consequences of this influence and don't underestimate it.
    Also, if you intend to have children with your boyfriend in the future, remember that his family will become blood-related to your child. They will probably expect to spend a considerable amount of time with that child, and will in turn become an influence on another person in your life.
    Weigh it out carefully before you make a decision. The grass may not be greener on the other side of the fence and NOBODY'S family is perfect. But can you deal with these people for the rest of your life?

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    jns
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    Quote Originally Posted by happytam View Post
    What to do when you hate your boyfriends family? We've been together for 3 years and I think he's wonderful but I can't stand his family. His mother is a neurotic, ocd bag of misery. His father is always making jokes at his expense and even when I think there's a compliment coming, it ends up being a backhanded insult. His sister is the princess of the family who is so used to having everything handed to her that she can't do anything for herself. I bite my tongue and tough it out through the family gatherings but I honestly don't know how much longer I will be able to do that. He knows how I feel but he wants me to just suffer through it like he does.
    If our relationship goes any further I fear I will be stuck with these people for the rest of my life. I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. Anyone else out there have this problem? How do you deal?
    You have a tough choice. Maybe he will move with you to the other end of the country or another country.

    None of my inlaws live in this country. My relatives live in East Coast states. We are in California.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    Patrick Henry

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