What do guys REALLY mean by this?

**Avatar Nirvana** · 10-09-2011 03:10 AM

So far in my 22 years of existence I've had two guys that were very subtle with what they want from me as a girlfriend.
Both of these scumbags who I believe really wanted to use me for sex (and thankfully I didn't have sex with them) started out with the quote "I love cuddling" or "I want to cuddle with you". I'm love cuddling, but from these sick perverts I learned that when men say they just want to cuddle, they want it to lead to sex. It is their way of coaxing women into sex because they know women love cuddling.

So what do men really want if they say they love cuddling?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-09-2011 02:08 PM

Being assertive is one thing, knowing what you want and don't want. Placing a human being into a catagory from a word, won't work, ie) all men that say they want a cuddle want sex..that is being "wary" of intentions...

At 22? Most boys do only want sex and the mere thought of them speaking about cuddles, you are right is aluding to something because a man wanting to get to know you would say " I love having conversations with you, you are interesting".... They are not six perverts

It's the nature of the beast at that age, and you are smart enough to see through their tactics...

The point I am making is see it also as boys being boys...There would be 22 year old guys that would love to talk to you and get to know you that may later down the track say " I want to cuddle you" and mean it, and only a cuddle.

These boys are betting that once held, comes a kiss and once that happens she won't be able to help herself as usually for the girl she "thinks" it's because he likes her and gets confused as to what to do next, wanting to be liked, he sees it as scoring....

**chaya** · 10-09-2011 02:20 PM

I hate it when my husband says "let's just cuddle". That means he don't want to have sex but will just wants to cuddle with me and fall asleep. That usually leaves me laying there all horny and him snoring.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-09-2011 02:27 PM

I'm the opposite.

When my fiance cuddles me, for no reason, it means he loves me and is not after sex...

And it creates a bond...If my man cuddled and expected sex, I would avoid the cuddle because I would feel it was only for sex, not love....

**Avatar Nirvana** · 10-10-2011 04:07 AM

So when guys say they want to cuddle, they want to leave it just as that?

**ItsASecret** · 10-10-2011 09:25 AM

My bf loves to cuddle but at the same time loves to have it lead to sex. I tell him there are times when sex does not need to happen and he agrees so he will just lay there snuggling into me, I am short and he is tall so I literally contour his whole body and he loves it. Other times he gets insanely aroused by cuddling, he can have every intent to just lay there with me but I can feel his boner going up and up and then he starts rubbing, touching and kissing my neck and back and stuff...that is when he ends up wanting sex. I am fine with that as long as we still have our cuddle-only time, which we do. The best way to get cuddle-only time is by watching a movie, you may get your backrub while watching it or simply lay on his chest and he will have a hand on your head playing with your hair or something...just cuddly stuff.

Not all guys love to cuddle. Most of the time even if they themselves do not like to cuddle they make the effort to when they are in a relationship because they know their gfs like it. However for those one night stand type guys or just got into a relationship and he is automatically looking for sex they tend to stay away from actually liking to cuddle because only sex in on their mind and they know from past experience many women will have sex once the subject of cuddling is brought up. Once a relationship develops it is not uncommon for a guy to say he loves to cuddle though.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-10-2011 09:55 AM

No one can say what "every" guy feels or wants when they express their desire to cuddle. But I think it's a safe bet that when you're just starting to date someone, haven't developed an emotional bond yet, that if they're pushing for "cuddling" then it's very likely because they want it to lead to sex. When you are in a love relationship, truly in love with your partner, cuddling can simply just mean cuddling. I think that sometimes in this case, even if a guy truly does mean "lets' just cuddle", his body reacts differently to the physical closeness and then results in him wanting more.

**baja** · 10-15-2011 10:26 PM

I'm likely on the old-school side of the fence on this one, but any guy who honestly says they want to cuddle before the relationship gets serious needs to have their man-card checked. The rest of the dudes are using it as a very pathetic ploy and should be checked for a perv-card. Real men man-up and women should settle for nothing less.

**jns** · 10-16-2011 10:07 AM

Many guys will use cuddling as a prelude to sex; probably younger guys are more that way. But not all guys are that way. Cuddling by itself may do nothing for the guy, that is, you are getting something out of the cuddling, but he is not.